I am a child of divorce. When I was about two years old my parents decided it was best if they were not married. Even at that young age, I remember being relieved. I didn't want to hear my parents fighting anymore. For the next thirteen years I had two homes. It was totally normal for me to spend four days a week at one place and the remaining three at another. Every Thursday my older brother and I packed our bags and went to dad's. I never once thought, “I wish my parents would get back together,” or, “Why can't I have one house?” My parents had a fantastic relationship, which I am thankful for. I attribute my competence and stability to my parent's decision to always put their children first.
Growing up I moved more times than I can remember. Usually it was to different apartments around Newport, but still, lots of change. It would seem logical that the divorce of my parents and numerous relocations would have adverse effects on me. However, I can't think of one thing to complain about. We certainly didn't have a lot of money, but I always felt secure. If I wanted something, I usually got it; within reason. My mom and dad worked very hard in order to make this a possibility. They gave me everything they could, much like Barbara Jennings from A Hope in the Unseen. As I read about Cedric's upbringing and how his mother set him up for success by being a strong role model, I couldn't help seeing similarities in my own life. Witnessing the way my parents treated each other made me not only respect them, but also want to emulate them. I can remember driving to an event at my elementary school with both of my parents in the car. They made each other laugh in ways that only old friends can. My face hurt from smiling so much. I learned how to treat others by watching them. The most effective parenting technique my parents used was leading by example.
My parents never grounded, screamed at, or raised a hand to me. I was a well behaved kid, but I believe it was because of the calm nature they treated me with. I knew from spending time at friend's houses, that not every parent was as low-key as mine were. In middle school, I went to my best friend Kaziah's house frequently. Her mom was strict. She had a list of chores to complete every day, and if she didn't, she was in for a verbal thwack. It always made me uncomfortable to see it, and I'm sure it was even worse for Kaziah. I knew that the way in which her mother handled discipline wasn't helping anyone. In fact it probably had the opposite effect she was hoping for. Instead of teaching respect by giving it, she used fear tactics. Negativity fosters negativity. That style of discipline rubbed me the wrong way, but it did teach me something. What not to do. I knew that what my parents were doing was working. This became obvious throughout my school years when they never had to force me to do anything.
I have had a sense of accountability from a young age; homework became very important to me.The sense of responsibility I felt drove me to complete my work. My self motivation became one of my greatest strengths. I knew when I went to school, I needed to be prepared, because I didn't want to seem like a fool. I cared. I still do. It's not as if I was always dying to do my homework, but it was and is a matter of pride. My work is mine. If I don't get something done, it's no one's fault but my own. I refuse to put out baloney. What I produce is a reflection of me, and therefore should always be my best. I started doing homework for myself, and that has made all the difference.
I will never be able to thank my parents enough for all they have given me. I can only hope they realize how well they raised me. As a result of their united parenting style, I have benefited in countless ways. One of the most important being my strong sense of self. I know that my life is mine, and I can choose to take it wherever I please. I'm sure they hope I make good decisions, but wanting something for another person can only get you so far. I choose the path of righteousness, but I do so for myself.
KianaAnderson
"Kiana" is Zulu for a change in seasons, which is why September is my favorite month of the year. New England transforms during the month of September. The air becomes crisp like a snap and each inhale proves more fresh and satisfying than the one before. The temperature drops enough to throw on a sweater and go apple picking for another crisp, tasty delight. What's not to love? But the thing that makes September extra spectacular is that my mom and I share a birthday, only three days apart. So during this very special month we get to spoil ourselves a little by going shopping and treating ourselves to girl time over our steamy pumpkin spice lattes. September is the month of mom.
I love my mom for many reasons. She has always had an influence over me, like most moms have an influence over their children. But my mom is special! Aside from the fact that my mom is a passionate employee, a determined woman who can run marathons, and a friend who always laughs at my sassy jokes, my mom is also the single most supportive influence in my life. No matter what I want to pursue, she will back me up, 100 percent of the time. This is why I took part in so many activities as a child. I wanted to do everything! Mom signed me up for soccer, lacrosse, basketball, track, and figure skating over the years. Not to mention non-physical activities such as piano lessons, voice lessons, summer camps, and even the flute for a few breathless weeks. And with all of these activities she would drive me around from one activity to the next, on top of her part time job. I almost feel bad thinking about how much stress I must have caused her. Through her sacrifice, she has allowed me to become well rounded and able to juggle a multitude of things. I owe that to her.
My mother has also had a great impact on me culturally. One cool thing about my mom is that she is from South Africa. With her nativity, she has taught me the importance of discovering the world for myself. Not only does she tell me to get out there and experience the world for myself, but again she supports me immensely in my travels and our travels together. I am lucky to have been able to travel a lot already in my life, each adventure impacting my life in different ways that contribute to my goals, ambitions, and personality–making friends along the way. If it weren't for my mom, I'm not sure I would have that. I would be missing a huge part of who I am.
But wait! There's more! On top of it all, my mom will always be there to listen and understand when I am going through a rough patch. Over the years, I have had a few rough patches... not so much like going down the bad path or hanging around with the wrong kids, but I've had times where I've had too much on my plate, felt too stressed out, and felt as though I couldn't handle the mass of it all. In these times, my mom's motherly instincts emerge and help me through the haze. One of the most stressful times of my life was my freshman year of high school. I had just moved to a new school in the middle of the year, left all my friends behind, and had to get a surprise surgery all in the same week. My surgery had me limping around a big, strange school, without friends or extracurricular activities to distract me from the weight of it all. It was a rough transition to say the least. I wasn't myself for a while. But no matter how out of it I was, my mom would listen to me complain, not get upset at me for being nasty, and always have nice encouraging words to make me feel better. She was my outlet and still is.
Over the years my mom has molded me with her influence. I have so much to thank her for. She is the reason I aspire to find passion in what I do, she has provided me with the opportunities of travel and the extracurricular. I know my mom will always be there for me when the going gets hard. If I wanted to be an astronaut, my mom would say "Go and be an astronaut!" If I wanted to be a truck driver, my mom would probably ask if it would make me happy first, but she would support me still. On an insane day, my mom is always my sanity, my clear thoughts that guide me. Without my mom, I don't think I would have the same positive outlook on life that I do now, because I wouldn't know what's out there in the world. I wouldn't have a reliable person to turn to. I would have one less person to learn from. I owe everything to my mom.
Things my Mother Taught Me: Everything good comes in moderation. You can do anything, but love what you do. BE PASSIONATE. If it doesn't feel right, it's not right. Always make time for the people you love. Travel and Culture are important. Take risks.
SaraBuckley
Most little girls are reluctantly signed up for dance classes at a young age by there mothers. In my case, all I ever wanted to be was a ballerina. I could not wait to be age five, so my mother could sign up! I would twirl and tap around on my kitchen floor for hours. (It drove my family mad!) When I was finally old enough, my mother registered me for Wendy’s School of Dance’s 2001-2002 dance season and I could not have been more pleased!
I started my dance career in my black leotard and baby pink tights. Saturday mornings could not have been more fun. I loved learning from Miss Wendy and admired her assistant, Miss Kimmy. Miss Kimmy would help her teach each class and was a wonderful role model to all her students. All I ever wanted was to be like Miss Kimmy.
As time went on, I had many more assistants besides Miss Kimmy. Each I admired more than the next. Not only was I still taking tap, jazz, and ballet classes, but I started taking hip hop, lyrical, and pointe. I was a truly dedicated dancer and all I wanted was to become an assistant dance teacher.
When my high school career began, I was nervous that I would never reach my goal. However, one hot August morning, I received the call that I had been waiting most of my life for. I was one of Miss Wendy’s assistants. This meant more to me than you could ever imagine. My dream that I thought I could never achieve finally came true!
My family has always been very supportive of my dance career. They came to every showcase and recital. My family was so incredibly happy for me when I finally achieved my dream of becoming an assistant dance teacher.
Becoming “Miss Sara” was one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. Through this, I could share my love of both dance and young children. It gave me a newfound confidence and responsibility. Assisting is actually what made me decide to want to become an elementary school teacher. It has influenced me in so many positive ways and I could not be more thankful to have been Miss Sara.
JuliaCohen
My family has always been a huge supporter of me during my life. My parents always encouraged me to do whatever I was interested in and I am so grateful for that. The encouragement i had to succeed academically was much different from other people, just because my mom was a teacher in my elementary school and saw me and my teachers in school on a regular basis. A large part of my yearning to succeed came from me, since I hate the feeling of not trying. I have always been the type to care deeply about my schoolwork and be hard on myself. But, my parents have always pushed me as well. Success wasn’t all they cared about at all but they always provided me a guiding hand and always helped me when I needed it.
My mother, has been and always will be the strongest, smartest woman I know. She has worked so hard her whole life to provide for her family. She is the person ho knows me better than I know myself. Don’t get me wrong, my father and brother are great too, but they don’t share the bond that my mother and I have together. She understands me in a way that my father and brother just can not. My mom is the sole reason that I am who I am. The only bad thing that I can truly say about my mother is that she cares too deeply, and if that is the worst thing that you can say about someone, you know that they must be an extremely amazing person. My mother has taught me so much in my 17 ½ years on this planet. She has seen me and my worst and my best and has loved and accepted me through all of it. She has always been with me and has shown me right from wrong. I learned so much from my mother, and I am so grateful for everything that she has given me in this life.
At the end of the school year each year, my family packs up our bags and heads off to my beach house in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. It is my favorite place in this world to be, it is sentimental since I am the 4th generation there on both sides, plus it is where my parents met. This small cottage with an amazing community rounded me more than I could have ever imagined.
My parents grew up spending their summers in Old Saybrook as well, and it was in that very beach community that I live in, that they met. In my opinion, I learned more in that community than I ever learned in school. School teaches you to be book-smart, but only life experience can teach you how to live life. These skills I picked up in this community, helped to improve my academic success as well. Watching my sand castle wash away with the waves taught me that nothing lasts forever. Going fishing and waiting for a bite on the line taught me patience. Running a lemonade stand taught me the value of a dollar, and the list goes on and on. With each new experience, came a new lesson, and with each mistake I made, came a learning experience. I made friends with all different backgrounds. In the end, everyone there was family. I owe these experiences to my parents, because they gave up the luxuries in life so that we could stay at that beach house all summer.
As I said in my earlier essay, a large part of what made me want to be a teacher, was watching my mother in a classroom. Another part of my passion for teaching comes from living in the beach community. I spent my days with people of all different ages, babysitting, teaching arts and crafts, running events, etc. I even worked at a marine camp, which combined my two favorite things: teaching and being in the ocean. I had amazing opportunities outside of school, and it was my success in the real world that pushed me to be a harder working student.
I don’t know who I would be, had I not had an amazing family and an amazing community to live in. Looking back on my life, I never really realized how lucky I am until now. I learned so much from my family, especially my mother. She has always supported me and made sure to tell me when I was wrong. Without the opportunities that my parents have given me in life, including living in a beach community, I don’t even want to know who I would have become and i am glad i never will have to know.
MeaganCoon
Meagan Coon
Out of school influences
There have been many people and events in my life that have had a large impact on me. Despite all of these influences my summer job has had the biggest impact on me by far. My job taught me a lot more than any classroom education could.
Many people in Rhode Island do not know much about western Massachusetts. This is not very surprising because there is not a lot in western Mass for people to know. Where I come from is a very agricultural area, there are a lot of farms, fields and open space. Southwick and surrounding towns in the area are known for their tobacco crops. I worked on two different kinds of tobacco farms in my life, the second being broad leaf tobacco which is used to make cigar wrappers. We harvest it in August, hang it to dry and cure throughout the fall and it is shipped to the Dominican Republic every winter. It is then shipped back to the US as cigars.
I have always had a moral dilemma with this job because of the negative affects of tobacco, but it was good pay so I continued to return. This year I was taught to drive a tractor, which was a type of promotion. The trailer would be filled with tobacco plants and I would shift into gear and pull out onto the road. It was stressful driving a tractor on the road because its maximum speed was about 18 miles per hour. I would often have a line of cars behind me beeping because I was causing a traffic jam. There was also always the fear of stalling, which luckily only happened once. It was not easy work; we started early in the morning and ended late in the afternoon. The sun was hot, the work was dirty and tiring and sometimes we would surpass 40 hours a week. This job taught me much more than the definition of hard work, it opened my eyes to a whole new perspective of people who were nothing like me.
The tobacco farms in my area would bring migrant workers from Puerto Rico and Jamaica up every summer. These men were not given the same opportunities as Americans as children. They did not get a good education, or an opportunity to go to college. They would spend their entire summers in migrant housing, away from their families. Many of them were in their late 40s and early 50s and they were just trying to make enough to support their families. This job that was gas money to me was their entire livelihood and that really had a strong effect on me. The migrant workers were always very kind and would do anything for anyone. They were also the most hardworking people I have ever met.
One person that I will definitely remember for the rest of my life is Barnes. Many people referred to Barnes as Giant because he was well over six feet tall. I never learned his real name but now I regret not asking. Barnes was Jamaican; he had lived in Jamaica his entire life and came to work on the tobacco farm every summer. He told me once that he had been working on tobacco farms for 27 years which was shocking to me. I had never realized how dependent some people were on this job. Barnes was a hard worker. He was a hanger in the barn, this meant he spent the entire day lifting the heavy lats full of tobacco plants up to the kids who would hang them in the rafters of the barn. The rest of the kids in the barn were between 18 and 25 years old. Barnes was in his late 40s. He knew what work had to be done and would not stop until everything was finished and never heard him complain once. It was also easy to see how much knowledge he had. He knew everything about how the farm worked and everything he would say was a word of advice, even though much of it was hard to understand through his thick accent. He was always upbeat and singing and full of energy. Honestly he amazed me.
Working with Barnes and the other migrant workers on the farm really opened my eyes to several things. It made me appreciate the opportunities I have been given in my life. I always thought of public education as a right but actually it is a privilege, one that many people from other countries do not get. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity I have to attend college and I will always carry the hard work ethic I learned at the farm with me for the rest of my life. Barnes and the other migrant workers could have been very successful if they were given the opportunity, but because of they’re circumstances they are making a living off of hard physical labor every summer. My summers on the tobacco farm have really changed my work ethic and perspective on life.
AllisonCorey
Non School Influences
Through your education you will be influenced and challenged by numerous amounts of people. It could be from your teachers, coaches, friends, or family members. Many people influenced me but my absolute biggest encourager throughout my education was my other. My mom has been my number one fan, the ultimate tutor, and has helped me decide my career path; my goal is to make my mother proud of all of my accomplishments.
Ever since a very young age, my mom has been helping me with my schoolwork. She attended a catholic school her whole life and graduated college with a Bachelor’s degree. She always wanted me to be the most successful student I could be. I remember coming home from second grade one day after a spelling test. I spelled the word ‘eight’ wrong. Of course when she saw my grade on the spelling test she instantly thought of ways to help me improve my spelling. She started by teaching me how to conquer the word ‘eight’. She actually made a whole song. Similarly to the tune of “Old McDonald Had a Farm”, she started to sing it with new words in order to help me remember how to spell ‘eight’. The song went like “Old McDonald had a farm e-i-g-h-t” instead of it saying, “Old McDonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o”. From that day forward I never forgot how to spell eight. Those little tricks still influence me to this day because I never forgot a single one of them. Even as I continued to get older my mom was constantly helping me out with school projects, studying, and checking my homework. By her putting so much effort into my education it has taught me the value of my schoolwork and continues to encourage me to work diligently.
My mom also played a huge role when it came to me deciding what major I wanted to choose and in what direction I wanted my future to play out. My mom is a Physical Therapist. She is very work oriented and works harder than more people that I know. She is so passionate about helping her patients and getting them back into the work force. Her passion and drive with her profession sparked my interest in the field of therapy. One of my mom’s best friends is a Speech Language Pathologist. I shadowed her one-day and absolutely fell in love with the field. From there the rest is history. I am on the educational path of becoming a SLP. It is all thanks to my mother who inspired me in helping others and bettering our society.
My lifetime goal is to make my mom proud. She has been there for me throughout my whole life. She has put so much time and effort into my education that I want more than anything to make her the most proud parent. Ever since a young age, I would run home with my report card to show my mom how well that I did that year. I have always wanted more than anything for her approval. For me to go to college and to be successful so far I know that she is happy knowing as a parent that she contributed to helping me to get to the place where I am at now.
I am eternally grateful for all of her unconditional love because without it my mom would have never spent so much time assisting me throughout my life. She is my role model and has molded me into the student and person that I am today. Without her encouragement in my education I would have been a completely different student. One that was not as driven and passionate because I did not have the continuous goal of making her proud of me. My own passion without my mom would have been very different compared to the passion I have because of my mom. Because of her work ethic and her passion, I will transform into the person that I want to be in the future and how I want to contribute to helping those in need.
BayleeDiMarco
Personally, I never stuck with any hobbies or activities outside of school. Some people had dance, or team sports, or other passions that shaped their lifestyle or aided their academic development, but I never experienced anything like that in my life. I was predominantly motivated by myself. My family and friends were great influences for me that helped me to perform my best, and I am forever grateful for that. If it weren’t for them, I am positive I would not have developed my love for education the way I have.
Throughout my schooling, my parents have inadvertently influenced my academic development. My parents were never the type of parents to pressure me to excel in school. I was never forced to do my homework or study, and I was never pressured by them to keep my grades up. My performance in school was driven by my own personal desire to learn and be the best I can be. I have always wanted to get the most from my schooling and would constantly strive to truly understand the material presented in class. By my own choice, I would often stay after school and take advantage of the extra time my teachers were available to answer my questions. My parents were always proud of me for being successful in school and taking control of my own education. As children themselves, my parents were never forced by their parents to perform well academically, and they thought that was the best way for me to develop a real love of learning. I hope to be able to take this same approach for my future children one day and I also hope that my future students have positive family influences to help them personally strive to do their best.
Aside from my immediate family, my extended family actually put more pressure on me to perform well academically. My whole life I have lived next door to my paternal grandparents. My Grammie, as I call my grandmother, taught high school math as her profession. This is exactly my goal coming out of college, as I’m majoring in Secondary Education along with Mathematics. I’m not sure if my Grammie ever had any direct influence in my choice of study, but she definitely influenced my high school preformance. Her and my Grampie, as I call my grandfather, would always search for my name on the honor roll in the local paper. Then they would to proceed to ask me why I didn’t receive high honors that quarter. It was not my biggest motivation, but I did always wish to impress my grandparents.
In the eyes of my grandparents, I am not their smartest grandchild. That honor belongs to my cousin, Maya, who is only 14 and already ahead of her peers in a few subjects at her school. While I struggle with reading and writing, Maya is an advanced reader and participates in her school’s “Reading Olympics”. She is already researching Ivy League universities while she is only a high school freshman. She applies all of her efforts to academics, and spends little time enjoying life in the moment. Although yes, it would be nice to choose my top college realistically from a group of Ivy Leagues, I don’t need that stress in my life. I want a balance in life. Academics are very important to me, but there is more to life than getting good grades. I hope that my future children and students understand that as well. If you spend all your time stressing over your academic performance, life will pass you by and you will most likely later regret that.
Lastly, my friends have had a positive influence on my academics. My best friends in high school and I all shared a common desire to do well in school and actually learn the material. My two best friends, Megan and Sarah, were both in my AP Physics class with me. We spent much of our time together studying and doing homework and labs together. We were all driven by each other to be our best. We also became a bit competitive by the end of the school year, as our grades were usually in the same ballpark. When I would beat them on tests or other graded assignments, I felt a sense of accomplishment and I was always proud of myself. I loved that feeling. This feeling is part of what drove me to learn the most from my AP Physics class. I enjoyed that class and studied excessively with my friends before the AP exam. I did end up beating them on the exam- I got a 5 and they both got 3s. Overall, having my friends to motivate me made this my favorite class in high school. I was able to do my best while also having fun with my friends.
My outside influences in school proved to have had maybe the biggest affect on my academic performance. I am lucky enough to have amazing parents that never put too much pressure on me, and amazing friends that motivated me to do my best. These are the people who have shaped me into who I am today. I appreciate them all so much and am forever grateful for their love and support.
HalleGoldberg
As you walk through the halls of school, all you see is the exterior of others. You never really know what is going on inside of their heads. You never know what they could be dealing with outside of those school walls. Believe it or not, each and every person is dealing with his or her own battle. What occurs outside of school can have a large impact on how an individual performs in school and how they develop as a student. Personally, for me, my family and life at home influenced my academic development. If it not for the challenges I went through at home, I may not be the hardworking, determined student I am today.
About two years after my younger sister was born, my mother was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. She underwent many processes and treatments over those few years. When I was in the first grade, my mom underwent a brain surgery that changed my family’s life forever. I remember saying good-bye to her in the morning of her surgery. She was wearing a black sweater and jeans; her hair was curly, just like it usually was. That was the last time I ever saw her like that. Brain surgery is extremely scary and common for things to go terribly awry. Especially since this was not her first one, her brain was intruded before. After that surgery, my mother was hospitalized for over a month. Something had gone wrong during the surgery, to this day it is unknown. My mother came out of the surgery not having mobility on the left side of her body. She was told she would never walk again and may not even live for a long time. Boy did she prove those doctors wrong. Through many obstacles, my mother was able to walk again. Today, she walks with a limp, cannot use her left arm and has some brain damage but she is still standing and living her life every day.
It was difficult for me to focus on my schoolwork knowing my mother’s circumstance. Over the years I developed anxiety due to genetics and my mother’s condition. I was constantly worrying about how she was feeling and if she was even alive. Being at home was difficult considering she wasn’t able to do much. My dad was like a three in one person. He is my hero. Living in my house is extremely stressful dealing with the struggles. However, I never allowed it to influence my grades in a negative way. I was my mother’s inspiration while she was trying to walk she became my motivation to get great grades and to keep up with my schoolwork. Ironically, my dad is a school principal so he has always been there to help me out when I needed assistance or even just for school advice.
My situation at home has not limited me to anything. It has encouraged me to be the best person I can possibly be. I’ve proven to myself that I can achieve great things, even with obstacles in the way. My parents have always told me to never give up and that everything will work out. As a student living at home, I followed their advice and have had success over the years. Now, as a college student, I plan to continue following their advice and to put in an endless amount of effort into my schoolwork and everything else I set my mind to.
SamanthaKaiser
“We are hundred percenters!” I could usually hear this barking from my father’s mouth while he grabbed my shoulders and dived in with a scratchy peck on the cheek. In the midst of my childish angst, sadness, and anxiety, he fired out this saying to me with an obvious but unclear attempt to motivate me. I never understood what this meant. Heck what did I care? What did he know? That father of mine sure showed me. That smart and motivating tough guy shared with me one of the most important pieces of wisdom I could ever have received.
My father, tough and stubborn, while also kind, giving, and extremely loving, always gave me mixed feelings. I feared my father’s tall stature and deep voice. He expected the best from me and held me responsible for my own mistakes and choices. Using that voice, insulting, loud, and only attainable by a trained serviceman, instilled in me one of the strongest work ethics that could possibly be scared into somebody, while simultaneously teaching me how to be goofy and love living in the moment.
When I was younger, I was used to seeing my father's motivation in threatening yells and scary seriousness. On weekends and after school, I had a list of responsibilities that needed to be taken care of and they were my job to be finished, or else. My dad had always scared me into using one hundred percent of myself. Whether I was pulling weeds or folding the laundry, I was to do it the right way and if not, I was to be punished and talked to about "the ways of life" or "consequences of laziness". Making a mistake was a serious no-no. My father would speak in a tone of voice that could define disappointment and it was to be avoided at all costs. Therefore, as a young girl, I worked my butt off to avoid trouble with my father. It wasn't until I was older that I started to understand my father's metaphors and sayings. I began to view them as lessons to learn rather than lectures to avoid.
In my senior year of high school, my father experienced a number of setbacks that made his wisdom skyrocket. I was always weary of what my father told me. I never knew if he was simply being a hard-ass or if he was attempting to teach me something. As he went through painful trips to the hospital, life-threatening procedures, and all kinds of emotional stress, his sharp and painful life lessons soon became soft and understandable. Never once, as the long summer days passed, did he complain or show personal defeat. My father, a man who knowingly brushed hands with death, spent countless hours with me every day laughing, joking, and reminiscing. His sudden lifestyle change never destroyed his will to enjoy life or relish every moment he had. Although his situation was dark and potentially depressing, he had the ability to find energy and happiness.Without my father putting one hundred percent of himself into getting better he may have never recovered. It was finally dawning on me why my father really forced the hard work motto. He may have softened up a bit, but he couldn't accept minimum effort. His life was quite literally on the line, and minimum effort would never get him through. Strong will like his made me realize that making attempts is the most important part of life. His annoying "to-do" lists and after-school responsibilities were lessons in effort. He was preparing me for potential moments like his in my adult life. Now, every moment I ever want to give up, my father's voice has popped into my head questioning me, "are you REALLY trying? Or just whining about not wanting to try?" My father's commendable mind-set and will inspire me every day to be better than I think I can.
His strength and perseverance in his situation gave me an epiphany about my own beliefs. What I believed to be a lame saying over the years was really my father’s one conviction about life: Put one hundred percent of yourself into everything and you will be satisfied. He pushed me for brilliance; he pushed me towards everything that I thought was ridiculous and unattainable. He set the bar for excellence, even in his most trying moments. My father never gave half of himself, so I thought, “why should I?” In months that passed my first year of college, I didn't believe it was the lifestyle for me. I was unhappy socially and felt unchallenged academically. I wanted to drop out, I was depressed and extremely lonely. I thought back to my father's necessity for effort and immediately went to him for advice. My dad encouraged me to pull through and venture out of strict college life. He pushed me to think positively and to look for new opportunities. I applied for jobs and even looked for events that could bring a smile to my face. Now, I strive for the best in my classes and work hard at my jobs. I finish tasks that make me groan inside and go the extra mile because it makes me feel better. I now find satisfaction in what I do and if it weren't for my dad's encouraging motivation, I may have not returned for a second year of college.
In me, he instilled a strong work ethic. Every moment that I walk into situations thinking, “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this”, I think of my father’s deep voice, keeping me at attention. Although there have been moments where I have technically failed at one hundred percent, I have never failed in giving all of my effort. My father would love to take responsibility for this, but he would love even more for me to say that I am responsible for all of my one hundred percent effort. His wisdom, standards, and own feats guided my beliefs about learning and experiencing life and I could not be happier to say that I have a well-grounded role model/father.
VictoriaKern
Coaching to Inspire
Throughout my childhood, my parents were constantly telling me, “School comes first.” The sole purpose of saying this statement was to remind me that my academics should be a higher priority than whatever sport I was playing at that time because they knew I would prioritize athletics if the choice were mine. Being a part of recreational teams growing up shaped me into the person I am today. The integrity, trust, and communication skills I learned from being a team member or team leader were instrumental to my success as a student and as a person. Of all the sports I played growing up, it is my experience playing volleyball that has most impacted my life. I attribute the lessons learned during my four years playing Prout High School volleyball to my head coach and beloved mentor, Dan Greene. This essay will describe the ways in which Dan has impacted my life and influenced me to be the motivated, compassionate person I am today.
Although the volleyball team won the state championships all four years of my time at Prout, Dan’s goal was definitely deeper than winning. Dan was much more interested in the quality of playing than the outcome of a game, and he let the team know that in many ways. During one game, Dan substituted inexperienced but enthusiastic sophomores into the game for all six of the seniors who were not playing collaboratively. While my fellow seniors and I stood on the sidelines, I watched the underclassmen try with all their might to win a losing battle against the competing team. Dan did not care if Prout lost that match. He would rather the sophomores play their hearts out and lose than let the seniors slack off and win. The other seniors angrily jawed about Dan’s decision, but instead of joining in, I decided to learn from what happened. I cheered on my young teammates and reflected on how I could have acted more like them while I had the chance to. Dan taught me that the team needed me to be dedicated, cooperative, and passionate. Subsequently, these qualities improved my ability to succeed both on the volleyball court and in the classroom. Dedicating myself to my studies and my team helped me grow into the accomplished person I am today.
When conflicts occurred on the volleyball team, Dan facilitated reconciliatory team meetings that taught me how to get along with others. During an extremely important tournament one year, the team was not winning any games and we were falling apart at the seams, so Dan knew we had a deeply rooted trust problem that was hindering our performance. He advised the captains to hold a team meeting in the hallway, and suggested we get to the heart of the problem before our next game. By not attending the meeting himself, Dan allowed for an environment where honest communication could occur. Girls ended up settling arguments that had gone on for years because the meeting encouraged us to open up for the sake of the team, and we went on to win the tournament. Throughout my four years on the team, I experienced numerous team meetings like this one, and the breakthroughs that resulted from authentic communication still astound me to this day. I learned that having healthy relationships with others depends on how willing one is to show their true self and give others a chance to do the same. My life path has been significantly altered by the relationships I have made along the way, and I never would have created such deep relationships without Dan’s lessons on authenticity and trust.
When Dan was not teaching me the value of integrity or how to be a dependable teammate, he was opening doors to the future for me. Dan showed me that my goals were possible and that my quiet dedication would pay off. Despite my average volleyball skills, I was named co-captain of the volleyball team senior year because Dan trusted me to lead the team. If the team made it far enough in the playoffs each year, we would play the semi-final and final games in URI’s Keaney gym, which in itself was enough to make me feel proud of my accomplishments. Dan, however, wanted to make us feel extra special, so he went ahead and set up a personal locker room for the Prout women’s volleyball team including a sign and cubby for each player. To this day, I still have the one-page word document with giant letters spelling out “KERN” that Dan made for my locker room cubby because it made me feel like I could one day be a college athlete, maybe even at URI. Down the road, I would become a URI varsity athlete, but for the Women's Rowing team instead of volleyball. When it came time for the much-anticipated championship game of my senior year, I was incredibly nervous. It was Dan’s personal advice, faith in my skills, and ability to make me feel important that led me to serve the game-winning point successfully. The bravery and confidence I acquired from playing under Dan’s direction have helped me overcome the fear failure and pursue my goals. In high school, that meant applying for leadership positions and sharing my ideas in class, and in college that has meant studying Gender & Women's Studies so I can one day teach young people about personal identity and diversity.
My volleyball coach, Dan Greene, has been an incredibly influential person in my life for many reasons. By teaching me how to be a dedicated, trustworthy, and positive team member, he inspired me to try my hardest in all aspects of life. I have respect for others and myself because of his balanced view of personal differences. Further, I understand that there are many different successful leadership styles because he valued my ability to motivate my teammates quietly and calmly. Also, Dan has helped me to continue to pursue my passions no matter what they are. I would not be where I am today without the countless recommendation letters, phone conversations, and sound advice from Dan. From training me to be a collegiate volleyball referee to being my beach volleyball partner on Narragansett Beach, Dan has clearly aided my continued participation in volleyball. More than that, though, Dan has set an example of what it means to be a good person during pivotal years of my personal development, and I will always be grateful for the wisdom and support he has given to me.
IleanaLaGrutta
Ileana LaGrutta September 19, 2014 EDC 102H Academic Autobiography
The teachers that I have had throughout the years and the extracurriculars that I have participated in have no doubt shaped me into the person I am today. However, without a strong foundation and support system, I would not currently be where I am academically and personally. My number one support system is my parents, and if it weren’t for them, I would not be here at URI today.
Quite literally, I would not be here if it weren’t for my parents. I was born in Romania and adopted and if that never happened, who knows where I would have been. That being said, I would much rather look at this on a deeper level; on a level that is able to convey how much my parents truly have done for me throughout my life. Being an only child, the spotlight was always on me by default. Everything that my parents have done over the past 18 years has been for me and I could not be more grateful. When I was younger, they put me in every single extracurricular out there. Whether it was dance, sports, drama, or band, I did it all. I believe that by doing everything as a child, it has made me a well-rounded person. I am thankful that my parents did not just put me in sports in order to live vicariously through me and replay their childhood dreams, rather, they gave me the chance to explore my interests and to choose what I like and what I do not like. Even though I do not do dance, drama, or band anymore, I have grown to appreciate things of that nature such as Broadway shows.
My parents did not just turn me into a well-rounded person. They also encouraged me in everything that I did. When I decided that I no longer wanted to participate in band, drama, or dance, they supported my decision 100%. They knew that I loved sports and that that was what my calling truly was. If it were not for them hauling me all over the place in order to play or coming to pick me up from late night practices, I would have never developed some of the character traits that I possess due to my participation in sports. As I’ve said in my other pieces, sports taught me a whole lot about dedication and perseverance that has translated into my school work and my everyday life. With that being said, I would not have had the chance to recognize these things about myself if it were not for my parents encouraging me every step of the way throughout my sporting career.
Lastly, and most importantly, my parents have supported me academically, as well. In our house, school was always the number one priority. Being surrounded by a world of athletes, my parents and I often saw other parents putting way too much emphasis on their children's sports and not enough emphasis on their grades. After all, the “student” in student-athlete comes first for a reason. Even in the midst of running from place to place on a school night, they would always make sure that my homework was done. My parents would actively get involved in my academics when I was younger, as well. For example, whenever I would have a quiz, they would always quiz me the night before until I got every single answer right. In our household it was work before play and looking back now, I thank my parents for instilling this concept in my head from a very young age. Because of this, my work-ethic yielded a ton of play-time.
Although my parents may not be at college with me right now, they are still very much involved in my schooling. One way would be financially. My parents have always emphasized that my main concern right now is school and to not worry about working; they will pay for the expenses until I have a career and can fully support myself. Also, my parents have access to my grades here which shows that they still do care about what I am doing. Of course they do not know every little thing that is going on in my life here and quite frankly, I do not think that they need to worry about it. Because of all of the emphasis they put on school when I was younger, they do not need to worry that my work-ethic will suddenly go away when a little bit of freedom is introduced into the picture.
My parents have been my rock throughout my entire life. By encouraging me to try everything, supporting me in sports, and constantly emphasizing the importance of a good education, they have absolutely created the person I am today. Although they may not physically be here with me, the lessons and morals that they instilled in me will live on forever.
RebeccaLelli
Rebecca Lelli
American Education
18 September 2014
Outside of School Influences
When I was younger I had several outside of school activities. These included softball, basketball, girl scouts, gymnastics, tennis, and a few others. However, the activity that I was most involved in when I was younger would definitely have to be softball. Starting at the age of six in tee ball and progressing to games that were actually competitive was perhaps one of my favorite things to do. I cannot pretend that I was one of the better players in all the age levels (I certainly was not), but doing my best and seeing a positive result from hard work made me happy. Softball helped me learn to become more patient, to work as a team, and to pull my own weight in any group setting.
The first softball team that I can remember being on was actually a slow pitch team as appose to fast pitch. The difference is that in slow pitch the pitcher simply needs to lob the ball at the catcher underhanded into a reasonable strike zone. In fast pitch the pitcher is required to have more skill, rotating their arm in a full circle and releasing at just the right spot to throw a strike. To put things simply, I hated slow pitch. When I was up in the batter's box, I could never time the ball just right because it was coming in at an angle and not straight across. I would strike out many times more than I would walk or hit. Luckily, the next year the softball league decided to change to fast pitch.
Learning the fundamentals of any sport is not easy. If you learn the wrong way the first time, it is very difficult to force your muscle memory to unlearn it and then relearn a different way. For example, I was taught very early on to throw side armed, which can do damage to the elbow. At first no one told me I was throwing incorrectly, and it worked well enough during my younger years. One year my team was the runner up champions for the entire league. But eventually when I practiced with my dad I became so frustrated that my throwing was inaccurate that I often threw my glove on the ground and stormed off.
By the time I learned what I was doing wrong, it was nearly impossible to fix my throwing form. I might practice throwing correctly, but in the heat of a game I kept reverting back to my typical throwing. I probably could have been put in more during school softball games, but my throwing was so unreliablemy coaches did not want to risk it. Some days I would go home and have to ice my elbow for an hour to dull the pain. Butnone of this stopped me from playing the sport I loved. Although I would describe myself as an impatient person, I am equally as stubborn and refuse to quit playing when other girls would have stopped long ago.
Most recently I played on an 18 and under team last summer in Coventry. Our team name was Coventry Crush and our colors were black and pink. Our socks had breast cancer ribbon patterns all over them, as a tribute to the women who were fighting. That team was a good experience. The skill level was good even though our record did not show it, and the girls were nice, if a bit hyper.Our coaches were a few of the dads, which was certainly....interesting. The dads would get really competitive about the games and lose their tempers fairly easily if they felt we were not playing to the best of our ability. However, when the coaches were not angrythey were so funny to be around, because they always teased their daughters and cracked jokes as we played. That was my last non-adult team, and I do not know when I will play again, but I hope it will be soon.
Softball kept me active through the years and I am glad my parents signed me up when I was little. Maybe the reason I loved it so much was because my dad played baseball as a kid. But then again, my mom was a runner and I hate running, so maybe it was just my own trait. What I do know is that seeing an improvement with hard work and persistence was very self-satisfying, giving me confidence and empowerment during my early years.
SamanthaLindquist
One of the people that was most influential for me was my best friend Jackie. She did many things that changed who I was and who I am today. We met in 8th grade after she moved into our school district from the local Catholic School, something she hated going to.
Our friendship began with us being on the same bus and being a few of the same classes during that year. It all began one day in Home-Economics, a class they made you take every year in my middle school, I was listening to my IPod at the end of class one day, it was Kelly Clarkson’s album from 2010 and I think the song was All I Ever Wanted, I viewed it as a safe song and asked her if she wanted to listen to which she said yes and we just started talking from there. That day was the first day we spoke at length about anything and we still joke about that moment all these years later.
There are a lot of things she has influenced me by being. Jackie is very open and sexual its something that by doing she really reminds me that I always need to be myself whether it’s going be good or bad because if you aren’t yourself, who are you? That is one of Jackie’s famous quotes that she tells me all the time to this day.
Another way she has influenced me in a big way is that she stopped me from doing something that could have changed everything in my life. During my entire school career I was bullied for pretty much anything, I was called every name in the book at least once. It grew all my life, I became depressed around the time Jackie and I met in 8th grade because I just wanted to be treated like a normal human, Jackie’s words, but they wouldn’t give up and by the time sophomore year was upon the two of us I was deeply depressed and was thinking of suicide. One night during that year I called her crying in the middle of the night saying I was about to do it and to say good bye, she talked me down, she talked until I fell asleep at 3 am and she texted me whenever she could during the next day since we didn’t share the same classes always. Jackie just wanted me to be alright and she single-handedly brought me out of my depression because she always stands up for me now I haven’t been bullied since.
With that story and all others I have with Jackie have influenced me in big ways because they remind me that I am cared for, that I am someone to people and that I can do whatever I want in life. That I’ve made a difference in her life just as she has in mine are big things to us and remind the both of us we are loved and can be happy like we are now. It's hard being here without her, she goes to Iona in New York, but we are in contact as much as we can be and she is going to come up for a Ram tour, so I'll see her soon.
MelanieMertens
Some of the experiences that were most influential on my educational experience were those with my friends and family. Throughout my education, I have consistently been taught to do my best in school. My parents were always rooting for me in this area -as they were in all areas of my life-, but this was not always true for my friends.
Throughout my earlier educational years, I was never really affected by the pressure of my friends to do poorly or well academically. Up until sixth grade, I had not really made any strong connections with other people. As I entered middle school, I became very good friends with three other girls: Emily, Sabrina, and Kayleigh. This all happened when I became a part of their Girl Scout troop. Throughout middle school, we would hang out all the time, and somehow I would still manage to get all my school work done even with several gymnastics practices each week.
This all changed as we entered ninth grade, we were all excited and nervous for our new classes; possibly with people we did not know and may have had no intentions of becoming friends with. I mean when you have three best friends who needs anyone else right? Wrong. The first few weeks I felt the pressure of being in a new environment and learning a lot of new material. But all was well with my friends and in my fourteen year old mind that was all that mattered.
Throughout the beginning of the school year, my friends and I would get together practically every week having fun as usual. But I was still struggling with to keep up with the workload and as time went on, and I began hanging out with them less and less. By this time I had met and made friends with many people from my classes and I no longer needed my "old" friends, but they were still my "best friends." Later in the school year around November or December, I found that my so-called "best friends" would get together without me, behind my back. This really hurt me because they had been there for me for so long and I felt as though they were just dropping me because I had other priorities. Most of the time, my reasoning for turning down my friends' invitation to hang out was simply because my parents would not let me go.
Now looking back on my freshman year of high school, I can see the correlation between my friendship with those girls and my poor grades. The more I would hang out with them, the worse I would do in school. This was especially prominent in the end because they were pushing me away and I just kept trying to force my way back in. Luckily, throughout the school year, I had built new friendships. These friendships were built on the basis of our education. I found a group of fellow students who supported me in my education and wanted me to do well, as opposed to my old friends who only cared about the fun of high school.
I am so thankful to have had a supportive family through this all too. I was raised in a home where every night, my family would be together by six or so when my father would get home from work. At that time, we would all have dinner and spend time together. After that, we would all split up to do our own things: do homework, watch television, maybe play on the computer. No matter what, every night my parents would ask me if I had done my homework and offer their help.
I can remember many scenarios from all the way back in elementary school where my dad would help me with homework. One night, I needed to finish a book for class the next day and my dad stayed upreading it to me despite the fact that I kept falling asleep. On multiple other occasions, I would cry to my father stating I could not do my homework because I did not know how. Then he would sit with me and watch as I did it all on my own. Later, in high school, on countless occasions, my mother would do the same, staying up late to help me finish a paper that was due the next day.
It is this kind of love and support from my parents that has gotten me through my educational experiences so far and that has continued to help me in college. As I entered the University of Rhode Island this year as a college freshman, my parents have shown me so much support in what I have chosen to do. Initially, when I told my parents I wanted to study early childhood education, my father did not want me to go through with it. He told me that I should work towards a higher paying job. In the end he warmed up to the idea because he knew it was what would make me happywhich is the most important scale to go off in his book. As I continue through my college journey, I expect that I will receive the same love and support of not only my family, but also my friends as I try to make the most out of this new educational experience.
MadelineMucci
Although my schoolwork and education have had enormous impacts on my growing up and creating who I am, they have never been my main focus. I think because I am an only child, I form the kind of bonds that others form with their siblings with my friends; therefore, my friends and the experiences I’ve had with them are the most important memories and growing experiences to me. It has been through my interactions with those close to me that I have learned not only how to care for others, but how to care for myself.
My junior year of high school was a huge transitional time for me. I had to figure out who I was, figure out who I wanted to be, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Because all of my friends were doing the same alongside me, it was a time during which we all went through many struggles both on our own and with each other. My best friend at the time, Hana, had a particularly rough patch when she broke up with her boyfriend because she realized she was in love with her best friend. Hana is the kind of person who feels everyone else's pain, so she felt her best friend's pain of seeing her with someone else, and then felt her boyfriend's pain of her breaking up with him, along with of course all of the pain and stress and confusion she was feeling. It broke her and she fell into a pretty deep depression and began to self harm in more ways than one. I was actually the one on the phone with her when it first all crashed down around her, but it was over Christmas break and I was in Florida while she was in Connecticut. This spacial distance between us at the time sparked my feeling of helplessness, which didn't fade when I got back from vacation and was able to see her. It tore apart our tight-knit friend group to see her going through such a mess, and I was the closest one to her, making it especially hard on me.
A huge part of this experience with Hana was the fact that I lost the rest of my friend group along the way. The stress was too much for us to bear and still manage to get along with each other, and I regret letting distance grow between us more than anything else I did in high school; however, losing my core group of friends taught me which friends are really here for the long haul, and also taught me about the other friend options that existed outside of that group. Additionally, I gained a good amount of independence along the way.
I'm the kind of person who needs to know that I can help the people I care about and get them through whatever they're dealing with, because I need to show every ounce of affection I have and acting to help a person is the best way to do so. But I couldn't help Hana; she could only help herself and this was something I didn't realize at the time and that I wish so much that I could have. My third quarter grades dropped through the floor and I wasn't sleeping or eating because I was sick with worry for Hana and frustrated beyond belief that I couldn't get her to stop and feel better. It wasn't until my parents dragged my nearly lifeless self to a therapist that I came upon the idea that sometimes people can't be saved, and that it's never worth losing oneself to attempt to save another. This was a huge academic turning point after I got my psychological side under control as well. I really started to crack down on myself about schoolwork because I know my potential and it hurts nobody but myself not to live up to it.
I learned through my experience with Hana that while helping others and caring strongly for those around me is a crucial part of life and empathy, I need to spend much of my time on myself. I came to love myself and care for myself more than anyone else, and was thankfully able to balance this and not become selfish. I did have to tell Hana that she needed to see a therapist and that I couldn't be everything for her because it was basically ruining my life at the moment to try to fix her. Unfortunately, she took this very personally and our friendship hasn't ever been the same since. Although I regret putting distance between us, I was able to find myself within the rubble of the middle of my junior year and come out strong, confident, and stable entirely on my own. This sense of power and strength has helped me remain levelheaded and balanced in every friendship, relationship, and new experience I've been involved in since, and I consider it the turning point that converted me from a young high school girl to a well-rounded and tough young woman.
VictoriaPetit
I always gave my parents full credit for my work ethic, but I learned recently that I gave them too much credit. My parents are proud of my academic accomplishments, although they don’t have a clue where I established my unusual obsession with learning from. What I learned my senior year of high school stunned me: they told me that I created my own work ethic, with little influence from them at all. My parents actually get worried about how much I care about school. They expect high grades from me, but I hold myself to a higher standard. I work to impress them, for my own well-being, and because working hard is programmed in my brain.
I remember being a freshman in high school and creating a huge, black binder filled with all the study materials I could come up with. This binder was like the bible to passing finals. As embarrassing as it is now, I called it ‘Victoria’s way of getting an A’. My parents were incredulous when I stayed inside all weekend studying from that binder. They actually tell me that I should spend less time obsessing over schoolwork and more time enjoying myself. My father often reminds me that I will have to work the rest of my life, so to enjoy my younger years while I don’t have many responsibilities.
Once the information surfaced about how my parents never pushed me like I push myself, I pondered where this insane need to succeed came from. The answer was so obvious to me; the values instilled in me through taekwondo made me the person and student that I am today. Taekwondo was always a huge part of my life. I spent my life—since three years of age—exercising, training, and bettering myself both inside and outside the dojang. I never truly understood how much taekwondo shaped me as a person until this epiphany.
In taekwondo, I learned many values which I hold to a high degree in my head and heart. There were many words thrown at me to memorize such as determination, concentration, and perseverance. I knew what the words meant and how they were connected to taekwondo, but there was never a moment that I said to myself, ‘today I will practice concentrating.’ These morals and values were translated into actions without my awareness. I was driven as a martial artist, that I knew, but it expanded to all aspects of my life.
I was told to never give up and to finish what I started. This is one of the main themes of taekwondo. I am proud to practice these beliefs every day, whether I am in a work setting, a school setting, or my dojang. Once these values were embedded in my brain, I didn’t have to remind myself to get my work done and try my best; it is just my way of life.
RyanSmith
My life outside of school had a major impact on my academic success. The first non-school academic influence that comes to mind is my community service. The hours I spent aiding my community not only allowed me to add something impressive to my resume, but also gave me something to do in my free time that I enjoyed. The majority of the hours I dedicated to community service were spent with my two youth recreational soccer teams, which I coached during the last two falls. The experience of coaching youth athletes (in my case, ages ten to twelve) was unique in that I was able to teach my teams how to play the beautiful game while incorporating essential life skills all the while. For example, I would allocate practice time to learning various techniques but at the same time I would concentrate on the importance of teamwork and communication. In addition to teaching children, the number one rule in recreational soccer (to have fun) allowed me to make the whole experience a joyful one.
My family played a role in where I am today academically. Specifically, my father persuaded me to follow the career path of computer science. Being a software architect, he constantly reminded me the benefits of computer oriented jobs. On a daily basis he told me that there would always be jobs available, the salary would be satisfactory, and I could always refer to him if I needed help with my work. His influence ended up being a major factor in my decision to pursue a career in computer science, and for that I am grateful.
Conversely, my life outside of school also had a negative impact on my schoolwork. A poor sleeping schedule and bad procrastination habits lead to me having a much more difficult time in school than I needed to. Unfortunately, a common occurrence involved me doing my homework only a period before it was due. I was able to keep my grades up all throughout high school, but I made that task quite challenging. If I could go back and redo high school, I would do so with a better work ethic. As for my activities outside of school leading to my choice of major, there really wasn’t a major influence until my senior year of high school.
I hadn’t really been involved with computers, either inside or outside of school, for the majority of my high school career. I spent time on the computer but ignored any aspect that involved software. I took a few computer classes in my first few years of school; Java my freshman year, along with Web Development during my junior year. It wasn’t until my senior year that I joined the CyberPatriot cyber security defense team, but that was a club associated with the school. Overall, aside from the influence of my father there were no other influences in my life outside of school that led me to pursue a career in computer science.
Overall, my life outside of school had both positive and negative impacts on my academic success and future career choice. Although I was enlightened by community service experience, I was also held back academically due to my poor study habits. While my father had a major influence on my career choice, I accomplished very little on my own to contribute to learning more about my career choice. Either way, my life outside of school had a major impact on my academic success.
AdamSokolowski
The part of my life outside of school that contributed most to my academic success was the group of friends that I made during my sophomore year of high school and that I still have today and my parents which pushed me to stay on top of my work. Before I joined my high school’s swim team I was an average student that received good grades in intermediate level classes and never bothered to apply myself in classes other than science classes and because of this my GPA suffered due to me trying to take AP classes that had a workload I was not prepared for. The encouragement of my friends to take these AP classes and their help in study groups as well as my parent’s pushing to keep a busy schedule helped me prepare for rigorous college work.
As I have already explained before in my paper about my high school influences, the friends I had in high school were in more advanced classes than I was and it made me feel bad about myself that I wasn’t as intelligent as them. Because of this notion of being inferior and left out of the loop of their talks about classes I enrolled in classes that they would enrolled in which included Honors and AP classes. Initially the large increase in workload and studying was a challenge for me because I was not used to it however over my friends were able to help me learn better study habits and how to be an overall more productive student. I believe that if they didn’t help me in high school I wouldn’t have been prepared for classes in college and would have struggled through my first courses.
My parents did contribute to my overall work ethic however I do not believe they had as large of an effect as my own conscious decision to do as well as my friends did. However when I think about it I see that they really did help me by encouraging me to keep a full schedule and participate in intermural sports. They were willing to bring me to any extracurricular activities I needed to go to and were supportive of me by showing up to swim meets and encouraging me through my classes.
My friends and my parents did help me to develop academically. My friends made me push myself to be like them and take the harder classes that they did and my parents always encouraged me to do better in everything that I do. The combination of my family and friends helped me to become who I am academically and to become the person I am today.
AmandaWard
Amanda Ward
Out of School Influence
“As long as you are trying your hardest, that’s all that matters”, is something my parents would always say to me. Whether I was feeling down about a test grade, or overwhelmed with work, my parents would always say it was okay as long as I was trying my hardest. They always had my back as long as I always put my best effort forward. My parents were my greatest out of school influence.
From the time I was in preschool to my last day of high school, my mom would always ask me how my day was and what I had done. Sometimes, if it had been a long day, I would be resentful to answer and give a short “it was good” and nothing more. But that never stopped her, she always asked me how I was. She was a stay at home mom most of my life and gave up her career as a special needs teacher to raise me, and my two brothers. We were very lucky to have one parent that could stay home with us. It does not happen often these days that kids have a stay at home parent. Aside from asking me how I was she would always ask me what homework I had to do. Then she would pester me for a few hours about getting it done before I had practice or a game. At the time, this seemed very annoying, but now I see that she was trying to help me be aware of time management and instill a skill in me that would help in the long run. My mom was always a great supporter and really encouraged me to do well in school.
When my dad got home in the evening he would typically ask the same questions as my mom. How was my day, did I have a lot of work to do, how was practice, and so on. When it came to school work my dad and I were different types of learners. He could memorize a whole page of notes just by looking at it for a few minutes where I would need to study the page for at least an hour to know majority of the notes. He was also extremely good at math where I tended to struggle with it. He was always very supportive and proud of the grades I got. I made honor roll every year of high school for my A’s and B’s, and every time I would bring home the certificate he would be just as proud as the last one. If I got a bad grade on a test even though I had studied hours for it, he would still always say “As long as you tried your hardest that’s all that matters.” This phrase seemed untrue to me at first because I couldn’t fathom with the fact that a bad grade would ever be okay, but now I understand it. As long as I put my best efforts forward and never give up, then the results do not matter as much. It’s the effort that counts.
I can’t thank my parents enough for instilling good values of school and learning in me. They always supported me and encouraged me to do my best. I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for their continuous support and love.
EmmaZingg
Having school be so much work for me I was never as involved as I wished to be while I attended my public school. But once I was free from my public school days I was free of a lot of my stress too. I spent so much of my time and energy working on my papers and reading for my history, and english courses that I always had less time than I hoped. This wasn't because I was a perfectionist of any sort, it was simply because I was barely passing these courses.
Of course I wanted to be apart of clubs, sports teams, and still have a social life, but all my life I was told my education was the most important thing for me. My mom often told me being a student was my occupation, and that was completely true because I did have to work very hard at it. Eventually in the beginning of my sophomore year with a lack of friends that I enjoyed spending time with, I put my self out there, on stage. I tried out for the school musical and received a role with almost no lines, but I was so happy with this, I had the chance to be apart of something but emotionally wasn't much of a commitment.
At the beginning of my sophomore year was when I began talking about leaving public school, but I was still trying to make the best of the situation that I had. Being apart of this school musical I had many moments of frustration and stress but it was also quiet a learning experience, I was able to realize I can get through anything. Often we put up walls for ourselves cause we THINK we can't do it, although if you have any form of confidence in yourself than it can be done.
When I left public school I had a realization that school wasn't my end all be all. There is so much more to life than just being a student. In order to be a good student you need to have other experiences; this is what made me want to become a teacher. I wish to teach students that academics are very important but perhaps our society stresses studies too much along with putting too much pressure on children.
Dr. Fogleman
18 September 2014
I am a child of divorce. When I was about two years old my parents decided it was best if they were not married. Even at that young age, I remember being relieved. I didn't want to hear my parents fighting anymore. For the next thirteen years I had two homes. It was totally normal for me to spend four days a week at one place and the remaining three at another. Every Thursday my older brother and I packed our bags and went to dad's. I never once thought, “I wish my parents would get back together,” or, “Why can't I have one house?” My parents had a fantastic relationship, which I am thankful for. I attribute my competence and stability to my parent's decision to always put their children first.
Growing up I moved more times than I can remember. Usually it was to different apartments around Newport, but still, lots of change. It would seem logical that the divorce of my parents and numerous relocations would have adverse effects on me. However, I can't think of one thing to complain about. We certainly didn't have a lot of money, but I always felt secure. If I wanted something, I usually got it; within reason. My mom and dad worked very hard in order to make this a possibility. They gave me everything they could, much like Barbara Jennings from A Hope in the Unseen. As I read about Cedric's upbringing and how his mother set him up for success by being a strong role model, I couldn't help seeing similarities in my own life. Witnessing the way my parents treated each other made me not only respect them, but also want to emulate them. I can remember driving to an event at my elementary school with both of my parents in the car. They made each other laugh in ways that only old friends can. My face hurt from smiling so much. I learned how to treat others by watching them. The most effective parenting technique my parents used was leading by example.
My parents never grounded, screamed at, or raised a hand to me. I was a well behaved kid, but I believe it was because of the calm nature they treated me with. I knew from spending time at friend's houses, that not every parent was as low-key as mine were. In middle school, I went to my best friend Kaziah's house frequently. Her mom was strict. She had a list of chores to complete every day, and if she didn't, she was in for a verbal thwack. It always made me uncomfortable to see it, and I'm sure it was even worse for Kaziah. I knew that the way in which her mother handled discipline wasn't helping anyone. In fact it probably had the opposite effect she was hoping for. Instead of teaching respect by giving it, she used fear tactics. Negativity fosters negativity. That style of discipline rubbed me the wrong way, but it did teach me something. What not to do. I knew that what my parents were doing was working. This became obvious throughout my school years when they never had to force me to do anything.
I have had a sense of accountability from a young age; homework became very important to me.The sense of responsibility I felt drove me to complete my work. My self motivation became one of my greatest strengths. I knew when I went to school, I needed to be prepared, because I didn't want to seem like a fool. I cared. I still do. It's not as if I was always dying to do my homework, but it was and is a matter of pride. My work is mine. If I don't get something done, it's no one's fault but my own. I refuse to put out baloney. What I produce is a reflection of me, and therefore should always be my best. I started doing homework for myself, and that has made all the difference.
I will never be able to thank my parents enough for all they have given me. I can only hope they realize how well they raised me. As a result of their united parenting style, I have benefited in countless ways. One of the most important being my strong sense of self. I know that my life is mine, and I can choose to take it wherever I please. I'm sure they hope I make good decisions, but wanting something for another person can only get you so far. I choose the path of righteousness, but I do so for myself.
I love my mom for many reasons. She has always had an influence over me, like most moms have an influence over their children. But my mom is special! Aside from the fact that my mom is a passionate employee, a determined woman who can run marathons, and a friend who always laughs at my sassy jokes, my mom is also the single most supportive influence in my life. No matter what I want to pursue, she will back me up, 100 percent of the time. This is why I took part in so many activities as a child. I wanted to do everything! Mom signed me up for soccer, lacrosse, basketball, track, and figure skating over the years. Not to mention non-physical activities such as piano lessons, voice lessons, summer camps, and even the flute for a few breathless weeks. And with all of these activities she would drive me around from one activity to the next, on top of her part time job. I almost feel bad thinking about how much stress I must have caused her. Through her sacrifice, she has allowed me to become well rounded and able to juggle a multitude of things. I owe that to her.
My mother has also had a great impact on me culturally. One cool thing about my mom is that she is from South Africa. With her nativity, she has taught me the importance of discovering the world for myself. Not only does she tell me to get out there and experience the world for myself, but again she supports me immensely in my travels and our travels together. I am lucky to have been able to travel a lot already in my life, each adventure impacting my life in different ways that contribute to my goals, ambitions, and personality–making friends along the way. If it weren't for my mom, I'm not sure I would have that. I would be missing a huge part of who I am.
But wait! There's more! On top of it all, my mom will always be there to listen and understand when I am going through a rough patch. Over the years, I have had a few rough patches... not so much like going down the bad path or hanging around with the wrong kids, but I've had times where I've had too much on my plate, felt too stressed out, and felt as though I couldn't handle the mass of it all. In these times, my mom's motherly instincts emerge and help me through the haze. One of the most stressful times of my life was my freshman year of high school. I had just moved to a new school in the middle of the year, left all my friends behind, and had to get a surprise surgery all in the same week. My surgery had me limping around a big, strange school, without friends or extracurricular activities to distract me from the weight of it all. It was a rough transition to say the least. I wasn't myself for a while. But no matter how out of it I was, my mom would listen to me complain, not get upset at me for being nasty, and always have nice encouraging words to make me feel better. She was my outlet and still is.
Over the years my mom has molded me with her influence. I have so much to thank her for. She is the reason I aspire to find passion in what I do, she has provided me with the opportunities of travel and the extracurricular. I know my mom will always be there for me when the going gets hard. If I wanted to be an astronaut, my mom would say "Go and be an astronaut!" If I wanted to be a truck driver, my mom would probably ask if it would make me happy first, but she would support me still. On an insane day, my mom is always my sanity, my clear thoughts that guide me. Without my mom, I don't think I would have the same positive outlook on life that I do now, because I wouldn't know what's out there in the world. I wouldn't have a reliable person to turn to. I would have one less person to learn from. I owe everything to my mom.
Things my Mother Taught Me:
Everything good comes in moderation.
You can do anything, but love what you do.
BE PASSIONATE.
If it doesn't feel right, it's not right.
Always make time for the people you love.
Travel and Culture are important.
Take risks.
Most little girls are reluctantly signed up for dance classes at a young age by there mothers. In my case, all I ever wanted to be was a ballerina. I could not wait to be age five, so my mother could sign up! I would twirl and tap around on my kitchen floor for hours. (It drove my family mad!) When I was finally old enough, my mother registered me for Wendy’s School of Dance’s 2001-2002 dance season and I could not have been more pleased!
I started my dance career in my black leotard and baby pink tights. Saturday mornings could not have been more fun. I loved learning from Miss Wendy and admired her assistant, Miss Kimmy. Miss Kimmy would help her teach each class and was a wonderful role model to all her students. All I ever wanted was to be like Miss Kimmy.
As time went on, I had many more assistants besides Miss Kimmy. Each I admired more than the next. Not only was I still taking tap, jazz, and ballet classes, but I started taking hip hop, lyrical, and pointe. I was a truly dedicated dancer and all I wanted was to become an assistant dance teacher.
When my high school career began, I was nervous that I would never reach my goal. However, one hot August morning, I received the call that I had been waiting most of my life for. I was one of Miss Wendy’s assistants. This meant more to me than you could ever imagine. My dream that I thought I could never achieve finally came true!
My family has always been very supportive of my dance career. They came to every showcase and recital. My family was so incredibly happy for me when I finally achieved my dream of becoming an assistant dance teacher.
Becoming “Miss Sara” was one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. Through this, I could share my love of both dance and young children. It gave me a newfound confidence and responsibility. Assisting is actually what made me decide to want to become an elementary school teacher. It has influenced me in so many positive ways and I could not be more thankful to have been Miss Sara.
My mother, has been and always will be the strongest, smartest woman I know. She has worked so hard her whole life to provide for her family. She is the person ho knows me better than I know myself. Don’t get me wrong, my father and brother are great too, but they don’t share the bond that my mother and I have together. She understands me in a way that my father and brother just can not. My mom is the sole reason that I am who I am. The only bad thing that I can truly say about my mother is that she cares too deeply, and if that is the worst thing that you can say about someone, you know that they must be an extremely amazing person. My mother has taught me so much in my 17 ½ years on this planet. She has seen me and my worst and my best and has loved and accepted me through all of it. She has always been with me and has shown me right from wrong. I learned so much from my mother, and I am so grateful for everything that she has given me in this life.
At the end of the school year each year, my family packs up our bags and heads off to my beach house in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. It is my favorite place in this world to be, it is sentimental since I am the 4th generation there on both sides, plus it is where my parents met. This small cottage with an amazing community rounded me more than I could have ever imagined.
My parents grew up spending their summers in Old Saybrook as well, and it was in that very beach community that I live in, that they met. In my opinion, I learned more in that community than I ever learned in school. School teaches you to be book-smart, but only life experience can teach you how to live life. These skills I picked up in this community, helped to improve my academic success as well. Watching my sand castle wash away with the waves taught me that nothing lasts forever. Going fishing and waiting for a bite on the line taught me patience. Running a lemonade stand taught me the value of a dollar, and the list goes on and on. With each new experience, came a new lesson, and with each mistake I made, came a learning experience. I made friends with all different backgrounds. In the end, everyone there was family. I owe these experiences to my parents, because they gave up the luxuries in life so that we could stay at that beach house all summer.
As I said in my earlier essay, a large part of what made me want to be a teacher, was watching my mother in a classroom. Another part of my passion for teaching comes from living in the beach community. I spent my days with people of all different ages, babysitting, teaching arts and crafts, running events, etc. I even worked at a marine camp, which combined my two favorite things: teaching and being in the ocean. I had amazing opportunities outside of school, and it was my success in the real world that pushed me to be a harder working student.
I don’t know who I would be, had I not had an amazing family and an amazing community to live in. Looking back on my life, I never really realized how lucky I am until now. I learned so much from my family, especially my mother. She has always supported me and made sure to tell me when I was wrong. Without the opportunities that my parents have given me in life, including living in a beach community, I don’t even want to know who I would have become and i am glad i never will have to know.
Out of school influences
There have been many people and events in my life that have had a large impact on me. Despite all of these influences my summer job has had the biggest impact on me by far. My job taught me a lot more than any classroom education could.
Many people in Rhode Island do not know much about western Massachusetts. This is not very surprising because there is not a lot in western Mass for people to know. Where I come from is a very agricultural area, there are a lot of farms, fields and open space. Southwick and surrounding towns in the area are known for their tobacco crops. I worked on two different kinds of tobacco farms in my life, the second being broad leaf tobacco which is used to make cigar wrappers. We harvest it in August, hang it to dry and cure throughout the fall and it is shipped to the Dominican Republic every winter. It is then shipped back to the US as cigars.
I have always had a moral dilemma with this job because of the negative affects of tobacco, but it was good pay so I continued to return. This year I was taught to drive a tractor, which was a type of promotion. The trailer would be filled with tobacco plants and I would shift into gear and pull out onto the road. It was stressful driving a tractor on the road because its maximum speed was about 18 miles per hour. I would often have a line of cars behind me beeping because I was causing a traffic jam. There was also always the fear of stalling, which luckily only happened once. It was not easy work; we started early in the morning and ended late in the afternoon. The sun was hot, the work was dirty and tiring and sometimes we would surpass 40 hours a week. This job taught me much more than the definition of hard work, it opened my eyes to a whole new perspective of people who were nothing like me.
The tobacco farms in my area would bring migrant workers from Puerto Rico and Jamaica up every summer. These men were not given the same opportunities as Americans as children. They did not get a good education, or an opportunity to go to college. They would spend their entire summers in migrant housing, away from their families. Many of them were in their late 40s and early 50s and they were just trying to make enough to support their families. This job that was gas money to me was their entire livelihood and that really had a strong effect on me. The migrant workers were always very kind and would do anything for anyone. They were also the most hardworking people I have ever met.
One person that I will definitely remember for the rest of my life is Barnes. Many people referred to Barnes as Giant because he was well over six feet tall. I never learned his real name but now I regret not asking. Barnes was Jamaican; he had lived in Jamaica his entire life and came to work on the tobacco farm every summer. He told me once that he had been working on tobacco farms for 27 years which was shocking to me. I had never realized how dependent some people were on this job. Barnes was a hard worker. He was a hanger in the barn, this meant he spent the entire day lifting the heavy lats full of tobacco plants up to the kids who would hang them in the rafters of the barn. The rest of the kids in the barn were between 18 and 25 years old. Barnes was in his late 40s. He knew what work had to be done and would not stop until everything was finished and never heard him complain once. It was also easy to see how much knowledge he had. He knew everything about how the farm worked and everything he would say was a word of advice, even though much of it was hard to understand through his thick accent. He was always upbeat and singing and full of energy. Honestly he amazed me.
Working with Barnes and the other migrant workers on the farm really opened my eyes to several things. It made me appreciate the opportunities I have been given in my life. I always thought of public education as a right but actually it is a privilege, one that many people from other countries do not get. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity I have to attend college and I will always carry the hard work ethic I learned at the farm with me for the rest of my life. Barnes and the other migrant workers could have been very successful if they were given the opportunity, but because of they’re circumstances they are making a living off of hard physical labor every summer. My summers on the tobacco farm have really changed my work ethic and perspective on life.
Through your education you will be influenced and challenged by numerous amounts of people. It could be from your teachers, coaches, friends, or family members. Many people influenced me but my absolute biggest encourager throughout my education was my other. My mom has been my number one fan, the ultimate tutor, and has helped me decide my career path; my goal is to make my mother proud of all of my accomplishments.
Ever since a very young age, my mom has been helping me with my schoolwork. She attended a catholic school her whole life and graduated college with a Bachelor’s degree. She always wanted me to be the most successful student I could be. I remember coming home from second grade one day after a spelling test. I spelled the word ‘eight’ wrong. Of course when she saw my grade on the spelling test she instantly thought of ways to help me improve my spelling. She started by teaching me how to conquer the word ‘eight’. She actually made a whole song. Similarly to the tune of “Old McDonald Had a Farm”, she started to sing it with new words in order to help me remember how to spell ‘eight’. The song went like “Old McDonald had a farm e-i-g-h-t” instead of it saying, “Old McDonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o”. From that day forward I never forgot how to spell eight. Those little tricks still influence me to this day because I never forgot a single one of them. Even as I continued to get older my mom was constantly helping me out with school projects, studying, and checking my homework. By her putting so much effort into my education it has taught me the value of my schoolwork and continues to encourage me to work diligently.
My mom also played a huge role when it came to me deciding what major I wanted to choose and in what direction I wanted my future to play out. My mom is a Physical Therapist. She is very work oriented and works harder than more people that I know. She is so passionate about helping her patients and getting them back into the work force. Her passion and drive with her profession sparked my interest in the field of therapy. One of my mom’s best friends is a Speech Language Pathologist. I shadowed her one-day and absolutely fell in love with the field. From there the rest is history. I am on the educational path of becoming a SLP. It is all thanks to my mother who inspired me in helping others and bettering our society.
My lifetime goal is to make my mom proud. She has been there for me throughout my whole life. She has put so much time and effort into my education that I want more than anything to make her the most proud parent. Ever since a young age, I would run home with my report card to show my mom how well that I did that year. I have always wanted more than anything for her approval. For me to go to college and to be successful so far I know that she is happy knowing as a parent that she contributed to helping me to get to the place where I am at now.
I am eternally grateful for all of her unconditional love because without it my mom would have never spent so much time assisting me throughout my life. She is my role model and has molded me into the student and person that I am today. Without her encouragement in my education I would have been a completely different student. One that was not as driven and passionate because I did not have the continuous goal of making her proud of me. My own passion without my mom would have been very different compared to the passion I have because of my mom. Because of her work ethic and her passion, I will transform into the person that I want to be in the future and how I want to contribute to helping those in need.
Throughout my schooling, my parents have inadvertently influenced my academic development. My parents were never the type of parents to pressure me to excel in school. I was never forced to do my homework or study, and I was never pressured by them to keep my grades up. My performance in school was driven by my own personal desire to learn and be the best I can be. I have always wanted to get the most from my schooling and would constantly strive to truly understand the material presented in class. By my own choice, I would often stay after school and take advantage of the extra time my teachers were available to answer my questions. My parents were always proud of me for being successful in school and taking control of my own education. As children themselves, my parents were never forced by their parents to perform well academically, and they thought that was the best way for me to develop a real love of learning. I hope to be able to take this same approach for my future children one day and I also hope that my future students have positive family influences to help them personally strive to do their best.
Aside from my immediate family, my extended family actually put more pressure on me to perform well academically. My whole life I have lived next door to my paternal grandparents. My Grammie, as I call my grandmother, taught high school math as her profession. This is exactly my goal coming out of college, as I’m majoring in Secondary Education along with Mathematics. I’m not sure if my Grammie ever had any direct influence in my choice of study, but she definitely influenced my high school preformance. Her and my Grampie, as I call my grandfather, would always search for my name on the honor roll in the local paper. Then they would to proceed to ask me why I didn’t receive high honors that quarter. It was not my biggest motivation, but I did always wish to impress my grandparents.
In the eyes of my grandparents, I am not their smartest grandchild. That honor belongs to my cousin, Maya, who is only 14 and already ahead of her peers in a few subjects at her school. While I struggle with reading and writing, Maya is an advanced reader and participates in her school’s “Reading Olympics”. She is already researching Ivy League universities while she is only a high school freshman. She applies all of her efforts to academics, and spends little time enjoying life in the moment. Although yes, it would be nice to choose my top college realistically from a group of Ivy Leagues, I don’t need that stress in my life. I want a balance in life. Academics are very important to me, but there is more to life than getting good grades. I hope that my future children and students understand that as well. If you spend all your time stressing over your academic performance, life will pass you by and you will most likely later regret that.
Lastly, my friends have had a positive influence on my academics. My best friends in high school and I all shared a common desire to do well in school and actually learn the material. My two best friends, Megan and Sarah, were both in my AP Physics class with me. We spent much of our time together studying and doing homework and labs together. We were all driven by each other to be our best. We also became a bit competitive by the end of the school year, as our grades were usually in the same ballpark. When I would beat them on tests or other graded assignments, I felt a sense of accomplishment and I was always proud of myself. I loved that feeling. This feeling is part of what drove me to learn the most from my AP Physics class. I enjoyed that class and studied excessively with my friends before the AP exam. I did end up beating them on the exam- I got a 5 and they both got 3s. Overall, having my friends to motivate me made this my favorite class in high school. I was able to do my best while also having fun with my friends.
My outside influences in school proved to have had maybe the biggest affect on my academic performance. I am lucky enough to have amazing parents that never put too much pressure on me, and amazing friends that motivated me to do my best. These are the people who have shaped me into who I am today. I appreciate them all so much and am forever grateful for their love and support.
About two years after my younger sister was born, my mother was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. She underwent many processes and treatments over those few years. When I was in the first grade, my mom underwent a brain surgery that changed my family’s life forever. I remember saying good-bye to her in the morning of her surgery. She was wearing a black sweater and jeans; her hair was curly, just like it usually was. That was the last time I ever saw her like that. Brain surgery is extremely scary and common for things to go terribly awry. Especially since this was not her first one, her brain was intruded before. After that surgery, my mother was hospitalized for over a month. Something had gone wrong during the surgery, to this day it is unknown. My mother came out of the surgery not having mobility on the left side of her body. She was told she would never walk again and may not even live for a long time. Boy did she prove those doctors wrong. Through many obstacles, my mother was able to walk again. Today, she walks with a limp, cannot use her left arm and has some brain damage but she is still standing and living her life every day.
It was difficult for me to focus on my schoolwork knowing my mother’s circumstance. Over the years I developed anxiety due to genetics and my mother’s condition. I was constantly worrying about how she was feeling and if she was even alive. Being at home was difficult considering she wasn’t able to do much. My dad was like a three in one person. He is my hero. Living in my house is extremely stressful dealing with the struggles. However, I never allowed it to influence my grades in a negative way. I was my mother’s inspiration while she was trying to walk she became my motivation to get great grades and to keep up with my schoolwork. Ironically, my dad is a school principal so he has always been there to help me out when I needed assistance or even just for school advice.
My situation at home has not limited me to anything. It has encouraged me to be the best person I can possibly be. I’ve proven to myself that I can achieve great things, even with obstacles in the way. My parents have always told me to never give up and that everything will work out. As a student living at home, I followed their advice and have had success over the years. Now, as a college student, I plan to continue following their advice and to put in an endless amount of effort into my schoolwork and everything else I set my mind to.
My father, tough and stubborn, while also kind, giving, and extremely loving, always gave me mixed feelings. I feared my father’s tall stature and deep voice. He expected the best from me and held me responsible for my own mistakes and choices. Using that voice, insulting, loud, and only attainable by a trained serviceman, instilled in me one of the strongest work ethics that could possibly be scared into somebody, while simultaneously teaching me how to be goofy and love living in the moment.
When I was younger, I was used to seeing my father's motivation in threatening yells and scary seriousness. On weekends and after school, I had a list of responsibilities that needed to be taken care of and they were my job to be finished, or else. My dad had always scared me into using one hundred percent of myself. Whether I was pulling weeds or folding the laundry, I was to do it the right way and if not, I was to be punished and talked to about "the ways of life" or "consequences of laziness". Making a mistake was a serious no-no. My father would speak in a tone of voice that could define disappointment and it was to be avoided at all costs. Therefore, as a young girl, I worked my butt off to avoid trouble with my father. It wasn't until I was older that I started to understand my father's metaphors and sayings. I began to view them as lessons to learn rather than lectures to avoid.
In my senior year of high school, my father experienced a number of setbacks that made his wisdom skyrocket. I was always weary of what my father told me. I never knew if he was simply being a hard-ass or if he was attempting to teach me something. As he went through painful trips to the hospital, life-threatening procedures, and all kinds of emotional stress, his sharp and painful life lessons soon became soft and understandable. Never once, as the long summer days passed, did he complain or show personal defeat. My father, a man who knowingly brushed hands with death, spent countless hours with me every day laughing, joking, and reminiscing. His sudden lifestyle change never destroyed his will to enjoy life or relish every moment he had. Although his situation was dark and potentially depressing, he had the ability to find energy and happiness. Without my father putting one hundred percent of himself into getting better he may have never recovered. It was finally dawning on me why my father really forced the hard work motto. He may have softened up a bit, but he couldn't accept minimum effort. His life was quite literally on the line, and minimum effort would never get him through. Strong will like his made me realize that making attempts is the most important part of life. His annoying "to-do" lists and after-school responsibilities were lessons in effort. He was preparing me for potential moments like his in my adult life. Now, every moment I ever want to give up, my father's voice has popped into my head questioning me, "are you REALLY trying? Or just whining about not wanting to try?" My father's commendable mind-set and will inspire me every day to be better than I think I can.
His strength and perseverance in his situation gave me an epiphany about my own beliefs. What I believed to be a lame saying over the years was really my father’s one conviction about life: Put one hundred percent of yourself into everything and you will be satisfied. He pushed me for brilliance; he pushed me towards everything that I thought was ridiculous and unattainable. He set the bar for excellence, even in his most trying moments. My father never gave half of himself, so I thought, “why should I?” In months that passed my first year of college, I didn't believe it was the lifestyle for me. I was unhappy socially and felt unchallenged academically. I wanted to drop out, I was depressed and extremely lonely. I thought back to my father's necessity for effort and immediately went to him for advice. My dad encouraged me to pull through and venture out of strict college life. He pushed me to think positively and to look for new opportunities. I applied for jobs and even looked for events that could bring a smile to my face. Now, I strive for the best in my classes and work hard at my jobs. I finish tasks that make me groan inside and go the extra mile because it makes me feel better. I now find satisfaction in what I do and if it weren't for my dad's encouraging motivation, I may have not returned for a second year of college.
In me, he instilled a strong work ethic. Every moment that I walk into situations thinking, “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this”, I think of my father’s deep voice, keeping me at attention. Although there have been moments where I have technically failed at one hundred percent, I have never failed in giving all of my effort. My father would love to take responsibility for this, but he would love even more for me to say that I am responsible for all of my one hundred percent effort. His wisdom, standards, and own feats guided my beliefs about learning and experiencing life and I could not be happier to say that I have a well-grounded role model/father.
Coaching to Inspire
Throughout my childhood, my parents were constantly telling me, “School comes first.” The sole purpose of saying this statement was to remind me that my academics should be a higher priority than whatever sport I was playing at that time because they knew I would prioritize athletics if the choice were mine. Being a part of recreational teams growing up shaped me into the person I am today. The integrity, trust, and communication skills I learned from being a team member or team leader were instrumental to my success as a student and as a person. Of all the sports I played growing up, it is my experience playing volleyball that has most impacted my life. I attribute the lessons learned during my four years playing Prout High School volleyball to my head coach and beloved mentor, Dan Greene. This essay will describe the ways in which Dan has impacted my life and influenced me to be the motivated, compassionate person I am today.
Although the volleyball team won the state championships all four years of my time at Prout, Dan’s goal was definitely deeper than winning. Dan was much more interested in the quality of playing than the outcome of a game, and he let the team know that in many ways. During one game, Dan substituted inexperienced but enthusiastic sophomores into the game for all six of the seniors who were not playing collaboratively. While my fellow seniors and I stood on the sidelines, I watched the underclassmen try with all their might to win a losing battle against the competing team. Dan did not care if Prout lost that match. He would rather the sophomores play their hearts out and lose than let the seniors slack off and win. The other seniors angrily jawed about Dan’s decision, but instead of joining in, I decided to learn from what happened. I cheered on my young teammates and reflected on how I could have acted more like them while I had the chance to. Dan taught me that the team needed me to be dedicated, cooperative, and passionate. Subsequently, these qualities improved my ability to succeed both on the volleyball court and in the classroom. Dedicating myself to my studies and my team helped me grow into the accomplished person I am today.
When conflicts occurred on the volleyball team, Dan facilitated reconciliatory team meetings that taught me how to get along with others. During an extremely important tournament one year, the team was not winning any games and we were falling apart at the seams, so Dan knew we had a deeply rooted trust problem that was hindering our performance. He advised the captains to hold a team meeting in the hallway, and suggested we get to the heart of the problem before our next game. By not attending the meeting himself, Dan allowed for an environment where honest communication could occur. Girls ended up settling arguments that had gone on for years because the meeting encouraged us to open up for the sake of the team, and we went on to win the tournament. Throughout my four years on the team, I experienced numerous team meetings like this one, and the breakthroughs that resulted from authentic communication still astound me to this day. I learned that having healthy relationships with others depends on how willing one is to show their true self and give others a chance to do the same. My life path has been significantly altered by the relationships I have made along the way, and I never would have created such deep relationships without Dan’s lessons on authenticity and trust.
When Dan was not teaching me the value of integrity or how to be a dependable teammate, he was opening doors to the future for me. Dan showed me that my goals were possible and that my quiet dedication would pay off. Despite my average volleyball skills, I was named co-captain of the volleyball team senior year because Dan trusted me to lead the team. If the team made it far enough in the playoffs each year, we would play the semi-final and final games in URI’s Keaney gym, which in itself was enough to make me feel proud of my accomplishments. Dan, however, wanted to make us feel extra special, so he went ahead and set up a personal locker room for the Prout women’s volleyball team including a sign and cubby for each player. To this day, I still have the one-page word document with giant letters spelling out “KERN” that Dan made for my locker room cubby because it made me feel like I could one day be a college athlete, maybe even at URI. Down the road, I would become a URI varsity athlete, but for the Women's Rowing team instead of volleyball. When it came time for the much-anticipated championship game of my senior year, I was incredibly nervous. It was Dan’s personal advice, faith in my skills, and ability to make me feel important that led me to serve the game-winning point successfully. The bravery and confidence I acquired from playing under Dan’s direction have helped me overcome the fear failure and pursue my goals. In high school, that meant applying for leadership positions and sharing my ideas in class, and in college that has meant studying Gender & Women's Studies so I can one day teach young people about personal identity and diversity.
My volleyball coach, Dan Greene, has been an incredibly influential person in my life for many reasons. By teaching me how to be a dedicated, trustworthy, and positive team member, he inspired me to try my hardest in all aspects of life. I have respect for others and myself because of his balanced view of personal differences. Further, I understand that there are many different successful leadership styles because he valued my ability to motivate my teammates quietly and calmly. Also, Dan has helped me to continue to pursue my passions no matter what they are. I would not be where I am today without the countless recommendation letters, phone conversations, and sound advice from Dan. From training me to be a collegiate volleyball referee to being my beach volleyball partner on Narragansett Beach, Dan has clearly aided my continued participation in volleyball. More than that, though, Dan has set an example of what it means to be a good person during pivotal years of my personal development, and I will always be grateful for the wisdom and support he has given to me.
September 19, 2014
EDC 102H
Academic Autobiography
The teachers that I have had throughout the years and the extracurriculars that I have participated in have no doubt shaped me into the person I am today. However, without a strong foundation and support system, I would not currently be where I am academically and personally. My number one support system is my parents, and if it weren’t for them, I would not be here at URI today.
Quite literally, I would not be here if it weren’t for my parents. I was born in Romania and adopted and if that never happened, who knows where I would have been. That being said, I would much rather look at this on a deeper level; on a level that is able to convey how much my parents truly have done for me throughout my life. Being an only child, the spotlight was always on me by default. Everything that my parents have done over the past 18 years has been for me and I could not be more grateful. When I was younger, they put me in every single extracurricular out there. Whether it was dance, sports, drama, or band, I did it all. I believe that by doing everything as a child, it has made me a well-rounded person. I am thankful that my parents did not just put me in sports in order to live vicariously through me and replay their childhood dreams, rather, they gave me the chance to explore my interests and to choose what I like and what I do not like. Even though I do not do dance, drama, or band anymore, I have grown to appreciate things of that nature such as Broadway shows.
My parents did not just turn me into a well-rounded person. They also encouraged me in everything that I did. When I decided that I no longer wanted to participate in band, drama, or dance, they supported my decision 100%. They knew that I loved sports and that that was what my calling truly was. If it were not for them hauling me all over the place in order to play or coming to pick me up from late night practices, I would have never developed some of the character traits that I possess due to my participation in sports. As I’ve said in my other pieces, sports taught me a whole lot about dedication and perseverance that has translated into my school work and my everyday life. With that being said, I would not have had the chance to recognize these things about myself if it were not for my parents encouraging me every step of the way throughout my sporting career.
Lastly, and most importantly, my parents have supported me academically, as well. In our house, school was always the number one priority. Being surrounded by a world of athletes, my parents and I often saw other parents putting way too much emphasis on their children's sports and not enough emphasis on their grades. After all, the “student” in student-athlete comes first for a reason. Even in the midst of running from place to place on a school night, they would always make sure that my homework was done. My parents would actively get involved in my academics when I was younger, as well. For example, whenever I would have a quiz, they would always quiz me the night before until I got every single answer right. In our household it was work before play and looking back now, I thank my parents for instilling this concept in my head from a very young age. Because of this, my work-ethic yielded a ton of play-time.
Although my parents may not be at college with me right now, they are still very much involved in my schooling. One way would be financially. My parents have always emphasized that my main concern right now is school and to not worry about working; they will pay for the expenses until I have a career and can fully support myself. Also, my parents have access to my grades here which shows that they still do care about what I am doing. Of course they do not know every little thing that is going on in my life here and quite frankly, I do not think that they need to worry about it. Because of all of the emphasis they put on school when I was younger, they do not need to worry that my work-ethic will suddenly go away when a little bit of freedom is introduced into the picture.
My parents have been my rock throughout my entire life. By encouraging me to try everything, supporting me in sports, and constantly emphasizing the importance of a good education, they have absolutely created the person I am today. Although they may not physically be here with me, the lessons and morals that they instilled in me will live on forever.
American Education
18 September 2014
Outside of School Influences
When I was younger I had several outside of school activities. These included softball, basketball, girl scouts, gymnastics, tennis, and a few others. However, the activity that I was most involved in when I was younger would definitely have to be softball. Starting at the age of six in tee ball and progressing to games that were actually competitive was perhaps one of my favorite things to do. I cannot pretend that I was one of the better players in all the age levels (I certainly was not), but doing my best and seeing a positive result from hard work made me happy. Softball helped me learn to become more patient, to work as a team, and to pull my own weight in any group setting.
The first softball team that I can remember being on was actually a slow pitch team as appose to fast pitch. The difference is that in slow pitch the pitcher simply needs to lob the ball at the catcher underhanded into a reasonable strike zone. In fast pitch the pitcher is required to have more skill, rotating their arm in a full circle and releasing at just the right spot to throw a strike. To put things simply, I hated slow pitch. When I was up in the batter's box, I could never time the ball just right because it was coming in at an angle and not straight across. I would strike out many times more than I would walk or hit. Luckily, the next year the softball league decided to change to fast pitch.
Learning the fundamentals of any sport is not easy. If you learn the wrong way the first time, it is very difficult to force your muscle memory to unlearn it and then relearn a different way. For example, I was taught very early on to throw side armed, which can do damage to the elbow. At first no one told me I was throwing incorrectly, and it worked well enough during my younger years. One year my team was the runner up champions for the entire league. But eventually when I practiced with my dad I became so frustrated that my throwing was inaccurate that I often threw my glove on the ground and stormed off.
By the time I learned what I was doing wrong, it was nearly impossible to fix my throwing form. I might practice throwing correctly, but in the heat of a game I kept reverting back to my typical throwing. I probably could have been put in more during school softball games, but my throwing was so unreliable my coaches did not want to risk it. Some days I would go home and have to ice my elbow for an hour to dull the pain. But none of this stopped me from playing the sport I loved. Although I would describe myself as an impatient person, I am equally as stubborn and refuse to quit playing when other girls would have stopped long ago.
Most recently I played on an 18 and under team last summer in Coventry. Our team name was Coventry Crush and our colors were black and pink. Our socks had breast cancer ribbon patterns all over them, as a tribute to the women who were fighting. That team was a good experience. The skill level was good even though our record did not show it, and the girls were nice, if a bit hyper. Our coaches were a few of the dads, which was certainly....interesting. The dads would get really competitive about the games and lose their tempers fairly easily if they felt we were not playing to the best of our ability. However, when the coaches were not angry they were so funny to be around, because they always teased their daughters and cracked jokes as we played. That was my last non-adult team, and I do not know when I will play again, but I hope it will be soon.
Softball kept me active through the years and I am glad my parents signed me up when I was little. Maybe the reason I loved it so much was because my dad played baseball as a kid. But then again, my mom was a runner and I hate running, so maybe it was just my own trait. What I do know is that seeing an improvement with hard work and persistence was very self-satisfying, giving me confidence and empowerment during my early years.
Our friendship began with us being on the same bus and being a few of the same classes during that year. It all began one day in Home-Economics, a class they made you take every year in my middle school, I was listening to my IPod at the end of class one day, it was Kelly Clarkson’s album from 2010 and I think the song was All I Ever Wanted, I viewed it as a safe song and asked her if she wanted to listen to which she said yes and we just started talking from there. That day was the first day we spoke at length about anything and we still joke about that moment all these years later.
There are a lot of things she has influenced me by being. Jackie is very open and sexual its something that by doing she really reminds me that I always need to be myself whether it’s going be good or bad because if you aren’t yourself, who are you? That is one of Jackie’s famous quotes that she tells me all the time to this day.
Another way she has influenced me in a big way is that she stopped me from doing something that could have changed everything in my life. During my entire school career I was bullied for pretty much anything, I was called every name in the book at least once. It grew all my life, I became depressed around the time Jackie and I met in 8th grade because I just wanted to be treated like a normal human, Jackie’s words, but they wouldn’t give up and by the time sophomore year was upon the two of us I was deeply depressed and was thinking of suicide. One night during that year I called her crying in the middle of the night saying I was about to do it and to say good bye, she talked me down, she talked until I fell asleep at 3 am and she texted me whenever she could during the next day since we didn’t share the same classes always. Jackie just wanted me to be alright and she single-handedly brought me out of my depression because she always stands up for me now I haven’t been bullied since.
With that story and all others I have with Jackie have influenced me in big ways because they remind me that I am cared for, that I am someone to people and that I can do whatever I want in life. That I’ve made a difference in her life just as she has in mine are big things to us and remind the both of us we are loved and can be happy like we are now. It's hard being here without her, she goes to Iona in New York, but we are in contact as much as we can be and she is going to come up for a Ram tour, so I'll see her soon.
Throughout my earlier educational years, I was never really affected by the pressure of my friends to do poorly or well academically. Up until sixth grade, I had not really made any strong connections with other people. As I entered middle school, I became very good friends with three other girls: Emily, Sabrina, and Kayleigh. This all happened when I became a part of their Girl Scout troop. Throughout middle school, we would hang out all the time, and somehow I would still manage to get all my school work done even with several gymnastics practices each week.
This all changed as we entered ninth grade, we were all excited and nervous for our new classes; possibly with people we did not know and may have had no intentions of becoming friends with. I mean when you have three best friends who needs anyone else right? Wrong. The first few weeks I felt the pressure of being in a new environment and learning a lot of new material. But all was well with my friends and in my fourteen year old mind that was all that mattered.
Throughout the beginning of the school year, my friends and I would get together practically every week having fun as usual. But I was still struggling with to keep up with the workload and as time went on, and I began hanging out with them less and less. By this time I had met and made friends with many people from my classes and I no longer needed my "old" friends, but they were still my "best friends." Later in the school year around November or December, I found that my so-called "best friends" would get together without me, behind my back. This really hurt me because they had been there for me for so long and I felt as though they were just dropping me because I had other priorities. Most of the time, my reasoning for turning down my friends' invitation to hang out was simply because my parents would not let me go.
Now looking back on my freshman year of high school, I can see the correlation between my friendship with those girls and my poor grades. The more I would hang out with them, the worse I would do in school. This was especially prominent in the end because they were pushing me away and I just kept trying to force my way back in. Luckily, throughout the school year, I had built new friendships. These friendships were built on the basis of our education. I found a group of fellow students who supported me in my education and wanted me to do well, as opposed to my old friends who only cared about the fun of high school.
I am so thankful to have had a supportive family through this all too. I was raised in a home where every night, my family would be together by six or so when my father would get home from work. At that time, we would all have dinner and spend time together. After that, we would all split up to do our own things: do homework, watch television, maybe play on the computer. No matter what, every night my parents would ask me if I had done my homework and offer their help.
I can remember many scenarios from all the way back in elementary school where my dad would help me with homework. One night, I needed to finish a book for class the next day and my dad stayed up reading it to me despite the fact that I kept falling asleep. On multiple other occasions, I would cry to my father stating I could not do my homework because I did not know how. Then he would sit with me and watch as I did it all on my own. Later, in high school, on countless occasions, my mother would do the same, staying up late to help me finish a paper that was due the next day.
It is this kind of love and support from my parents that has gotten me through my educational experiences so far and that has continued to help me in college. As I entered the University of Rhode Island this year as a college freshman, my parents have shown me so much support in what I have chosen to do. Initially, when I told my parents I wanted to study early childhood education, my father did not want me to go through with it. He told me that I should work towards a higher paying job. In the end he warmed up to the idea because he knew it was what would make me happy which is the most important scale to go off in his book. As I continue through my college journey, I expect that I will receive the same love and support of not only my family, but also my friends as I try to make the most out of this new educational experience.
My junior year of high school was a huge transitional time for me. I had to figure out who I was, figure out who I wanted to be, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Because all of my friends were doing the same alongside me, it was a time during which we all went through many struggles both on our own and with each other. My best friend at the time, Hana, had a particularly rough patch when she broke up with her boyfriend because she realized she was in love with her best friend. Hana is the kind of person who feels everyone else's pain, so she felt her best friend's pain of seeing her with someone else, and then felt her boyfriend's pain of her breaking up with him, along with of course all of the pain and stress and confusion she was feeling. It broke her and she fell into a pretty deep depression and began to self harm in more ways than one. I was actually the one on the phone with her when it first all crashed down around her, but it was over Christmas break and I was in Florida while she was in Connecticut. This spacial distance between us at the time sparked my feeling of helplessness, which didn't fade when I got back from vacation and was able to see her. It tore apart our tight-knit friend group to see her going through such a mess, and I was the closest one to her, making it especially hard on me.
A huge part of this experience with Hana was the fact that I lost the rest of my friend group along the way. The stress was too much for us to bear and still manage to get along with each other, and I regret letting distance grow between us more than anything else I did in high school; however, losing my core group of friends taught me which friends are really here for the long haul, and also taught me about the other friend options that existed outside of that group. Additionally, I gained a good amount of independence along the way.
I'm the kind of person who needs to know that I can help the people I care about and get them through whatever they're dealing with, because I need to show every ounce of affection I have and acting to help a person is the best way to do so. But I couldn't help Hana; she could only help herself and this was something I didn't realize at the time and that I wish so much that I could have. My third quarter grades dropped through the floor and I wasn't sleeping or eating because I was sick with worry for Hana and frustrated beyond belief that I couldn't get her to stop and feel better. It wasn't until my parents dragged my nearly lifeless self to a therapist that I came upon the idea that sometimes people can't be saved, and that it's never worth losing oneself to attempt to save another. This was a huge academic turning point after I got my psychological side under control as well. I really started to crack down on myself about schoolwork because I know my potential and it hurts nobody but myself not to live up to it.
I learned through my experience with Hana that while helping others and caring strongly for those around me is a crucial part of life and empathy, I need to spend much of my time on myself. I came to love myself and care for myself more than anyone else, and was thankfully able to balance this and not become selfish. I did have to tell Hana that she needed to see a therapist and that I couldn't be everything for her because it was basically ruining my life at the moment to try to fix her. Unfortunately, she took this very personally and our friendship hasn't ever been the same since. Although I regret putting distance between us, I was able to find myself within the rubble of the middle of my junior year and come out strong, confident, and stable entirely on my own. This sense of power and strength has helped me remain levelheaded and balanced in every friendship, relationship, and new experience I've been involved in since, and I consider it the turning point that converted me from a young high school girl to a well-rounded and tough young woman.
I remember being a freshman in high school and creating a huge, black binder filled with all the study materials I could come up with. This binder was like the bible to passing finals. As embarrassing as it is now, I called it ‘Victoria’s way of getting an A’. My parents were incredulous when I stayed inside all weekend studying from that binder. They actually tell me that I should spend less time obsessing over schoolwork and more time enjoying myself. My father often reminds me that I will have to work the rest of my life, so to enjoy my younger years while I don’t have many responsibilities.
Once the information surfaced about how my parents never pushed me like I push myself, I pondered where this insane need to succeed came from. The answer was so obvious to me; the values instilled in me through taekwondo made me the person and student that I am today. Taekwondo was always a huge part of my life. I spent my life—since three years of age—exercising, training, and bettering myself both inside and outside the dojang. I never truly understood how much taekwondo shaped me as a person until this epiphany.
In taekwondo, I learned many values which I hold to a high degree in my head and heart. There were many words thrown at me to memorize such as determination, concentration, and perseverance. I knew what the words meant and how they were connected to taekwondo, but there was never a moment that I said to myself, ‘today I will practice concentrating.’ These morals and values were translated into actions without my awareness. I was driven as a martial artist, that I knew, but it expanded to all aspects of my life.
I was told to never give up and to finish what I started. This is one of the main themes of taekwondo. I am proud to practice these beliefs every day, whether I am in a work setting, a school setting, or my dojang. Once these values were embedded in my brain, I didn’t have to remind myself to get my work done and try my best; it is just my way of life.
My family played a role in where I am today academically. Specifically, my father persuaded me to follow the career path of computer science. Being a software architect, he constantly reminded me the benefits of computer oriented jobs. On a daily basis he told me that there would always be jobs available, the salary would be satisfactory, and I could always refer to him if I needed help with my work. His influence ended up being a major factor in my decision to pursue a career in computer science, and for that I am grateful.
Conversely, my life outside of school also had a negative impact on my schoolwork. A poor sleeping schedule and bad procrastination habits lead to me having a much more difficult time in school than I needed to. Unfortunately, a common occurrence involved me doing my homework only a period before it was due. I was able to keep my grades up all throughout high school, but I made that task quite challenging. If I could go back and redo high school, I would do so with a better work ethic. As for my activities outside of school leading to my choice of major, there really wasn’t a major influence until my senior year of high school.
I hadn’t really been involved with computers, either inside or outside of school, for the majority of my high school career. I spent time on the computer but ignored any aspect that involved software. I took a few computer classes in my first few years of school; Java my freshman year, along with Web Development during my junior year. It wasn’t until my senior year that I joined the CyberPatriot cyber security defense team, but that was a club associated with the school. Overall, aside from the influence of my father there were no other influences in my life outside of school that led me to pursue a career in computer science.
Overall, my life outside of school had both positive and negative impacts on my academic success and future career choice. Although I was enlightened by community service experience, I was also held back academically due to my poor study habits. While my father had a major influence on my career choice, I accomplished very little on my own to contribute to learning more about my career choice. Either way, my life outside of school had a major impact on my academic success.
As I have already explained before in my paper about my high school influences, the friends I had in high school were in more advanced classes than I was and it made me feel bad about myself that I wasn’t as intelligent as them. Because of this notion of being inferior and left out of the loop of their talks about classes I enrolled in classes that they would enrolled in which included Honors and AP classes. Initially the large increase in workload and studying was a challenge for me because I was not used to it however over my friends were able to help me learn better study habits and how to be an overall more productive student. I believe that if they didn’t help me in high school I wouldn’t have been prepared for classes in college and would have struggled through my first courses.
My parents did contribute to my overall work ethic however I do not believe they had as large of an effect as my own conscious decision to do as well as my friends did. However when I think about it I see that they really did help me by encouraging me to keep a full schedule and participate in intermural sports. They were willing to bring me to any extracurricular activities I needed to go to and were supportive of me by showing up to swim meets and encouraging me through my classes.
My friends and my parents did help me to develop academically. My friends made me push myself to be like them and take the harder classes that they did and my parents always encouraged me to do better in everything that I do. The combination of my family and friends helped me to become who I am academically and to become the person I am today.
Out of School Influence
“As long as you are trying your hardest, that’s all that matters”, is something my parents would always say to me. Whether I was feeling down about a test grade, or overwhelmed with work, my parents would always say it was okay as long as I was trying my hardest. They always had my back as long as I always put my best effort forward. My parents were my greatest out of school influence.
From the time I was in preschool to my last day of high school, my mom would always ask me how my day was and what I had done. Sometimes, if it had been a long day, I would be resentful to answer and give a short “it was good” and nothing more. But that never stopped her, she always asked me how I was. She was a stay at home mom most of my life and gave up her career as a special needs teacher to raise me, and my two brothers. We were very lucky to have one parent that could stay home with us. It does not happen often these days that kids have a stay at home parent. Aside from asking me how I was she would always ask me what homework I had to do. Then she would pester me for a few hours about getting it done before I had practice or a game. At the time, this seemed very annoying, but now I see that she was trying to help me be aware of time management and instill a skill in me that would help in the long run. My mom was always a great supporter and really encouraged me to do well in school.
When my dad got home in the evening he would typically ask the same questions as my mom. How was my day, did I have a lot of work to do, how was practice, and so on. When it came to school work my dad and I were different types of learners. He could memorize a whole page of notes just by looking at it for a few minutes where I would need to study the page for at least an hour to know majority of the notes. He was also extremely good at math where I tended to struggle with it. He was always very supportive and proud of the grades I got. I made honor roll every year of high school for my A’s and B’s, and every time I would bring home the certificate he would be just as proud as the last one. If I got a bad grade on a test even though I had studied hours for it, he would still always say “As long as you tried your hardest that’s all that matters.” This phrase seemed untrue to me at first because I couldn’t fathom with the fact that a bad grade would ever be okay, but now I understand it. As long as I put my best efforts forward and never give up, then the results do not matter as much. It’s the effort that counts.
I can’t thank my parents enough for instilling good values of school and learning in me. They always supported me and encouraged me to do my best. I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for their continuous support and love.
Having school be so much work for me I was never as involved as I wished to be while I attended my public school. But once I was free from my public school days I was free of a lot of my stress too. I spent so much of my time and energy working on my papers and reading for my history, and english courses that I always had less time than I hoped. This wasn't because I was a perfectionist of any sort, it was simply because I was barely passing these courses.
Of course I wanted to be apart of clubs, sports teams, and still have a social life, but all my life I was told my education was the most important thing for me. My mom often told me being a student was my occupation, and that was completely true because I did have to work very hard at it. Eventually in the beginning of my sophomore year with a lack of friends that I enjoyed spending time with, I put my self out there, on stage. I tried out for the school musical and received a role with almost no lines, but I was so happy with this, I had the chance to be apart of something but emotionally wasn't much of a commitment.
At the beginning of my sophomore year was when I began talking about leaving public school, but I was still trying to make the best of the situation that I had. Being apart of this school musical I had many moments of frustration and stress but it was also quiet a learning experience, I was able to realize I can get through anything. Often we put up walls for ourselves cause we THINK we can't do it, although if you have any form of confidence in yourself than it can be done.
When I left public school I had a realization that school wasn't my end all be all. There is so much more to life than just being a student. In order to be a good student you need to have other experiences; this is what made me want to become a teacher. I wish to teach students that academics are very important but perhaps our society stresses studies too much along with putting too much pressure on children.